How do you stop feeling like an awful parent?

[Dav87]

My 10 month old DD is having a rough time at the moment, she started nursery 2 weeks ago, caught a cold which got worse and turned into a ear infection (first ever time we’ve had to take her to the doctors, as due to lockdown she just hasn’t been exposed to any germs!), and had to have antibiotics. She’s also trying to walk and talk. I also spent a week in hospital unexpectedly lately, which obviously had an impact as well.

All in all, poor DD is having a sh*t time of it!

She’s extremely whiny, screams at the slightest thing, sometimes at nothing. Cries continuously all day, needs constant attention, wakes all night and cries for hours, won’t be put down but hates us picking her up, she just cries and cries.

I know what’s caused it, plus I think this is a difficult age anyway, so I’m trying to tell myself it’s just a phase and she’s had a lot to deal with but when it’s constant all day it’s torture, and I can feel myself getting frustrated, angry and just reaching the end of my tether.

Today I’m ashamed to say I put her in her cot while she was crying and walked out and closed the door, I was raging. Rang DH in work and ranted, so stressed. I have spent the whole day feeling angry at DD for being such hard work, and now I feel absolutely awful.

I feel I am an awful parent for not enjoying my time with DD. I go back to work in 6 weeks and I feel like I’m wasting our precious time together, even though she doesn’t seem to enjoy it much anyway!

Please help; even if it’s just to say I’m not alone in any aspect of this! It’s so hard 😢 x

Oh OP, I’m so sorry. I feel the same. My baby is so hard to put down for bed at the moment and he screams blue murder if my husband tries, so it’s all on me. I gave up tonight and passed him to my husband saying I didn’t care if he never sleeps again. And now I can hear him grizzling in the kitchen because he is exhausted but I don’t have it in me to go and do battle with him again to get him down. I feel like shit, and just the worst mother ever.

It’s so, so hard. I don’t have any advice but I do have so much sympathy.

Walking away is the right thing to do, parenting is fucking hard sometimes and it’s absolutely fine to take a minute to re-group at stressful times.
Are you sure the ear infection has cleared up? The constant crying could be a sign she’s in pain I would take her back to the GP for a check over, if she’s not usually a crier that amount of time in distress could signal something else is going on medically.

Agree walking away is often the right thing to do!
Your baby has been unwell and you're probably shattered!
It all sounds part of a typical first year. Cut yourself some slack.

It sounds as though your baby might still be ill op , can you get her ears looked at again? And assuming her Dr looked at the throat as one of my dc got very bad throat infections once they started school. How often is she in nursery?
I hope you both feel better very soon. I'd definitely get her checked out again. I bf my dc so when they were ill I would sleep beside them fit extra cuddles when sick , helped comfort them and I felt better too if it had been a tough day.