So my husband and I split up 2 years ago, our boys are 3&4.
He's just called and said he'd like to introduce the boys to his girlfriend of 8 months would I like to meet her first.
I said no to meeting her but didn't object to them doing so. I won't like her, I'll pick fault and think she isn't good enough as I do this with men I meet so his girlfriend has no hope of winning me over.
I really really do not want her to meet my children but I wouldn't ever say that to him. I'm not going to be one of those horrible controlling ex's who try and call all the shots, I have to step back and leave him to do what he thinks best in his time with them.
Part of me is irritated because sometimes he can be quite flakey, he'll cancel visits for crappy reasons, it doesn't happen often; but I don't think it should ever happen and I just know that now that will stop and he'll have them arranged times and more so they can play happy families with my children. She's younger, no kids and is apparently desperate to meet them.
I don't want them to like her, I don't want them to enjoy spending time with her but then I do, I do want them to be happy and settled with their dad and whoever he chooses to be with, I'd hate for him to be with someone my children don't like.
It's such an emotional rollercoaster, I didn't even realise there was someone he'd been seeing for a while so it really shocked me, I wasn't prepared.
Just to add, I'm not jealous. I don't want him back, I'm not bothered he's moved on first, not moving on myself is a choice, there's been opportunities but it's just not what I want right now. I just want it to be me and my boys, no complications.
I just don't want my boys to be messed around, hurt, like someone and them they leave. I can control this to an extent on my side, which is the reason I've refused to her seriously involved with anyone but I know I can't make those calls for him.
How do people deal with this? Are my feelings normal or am I just really horrible/dramatic? How do I get past it?