Baby is hard work at 11 months

[Motherofking]

My baby is almost 12 months but I'm still finding things to be challenging . Im still tired and don't seem to be doing a great job like I thought I would by now . I really thought after the newborn stage things would get easier which they did but from 6 months onwards the more he's growing he's tiring and hardwork . Im starting to find this phase as hard as the newborn phase minus the sleep deprivation I
Am I the only one

Yes it's all hard work. 18 months was a turning point both times for me. Mine are good talkers so I could finally have a conversation by that age and begin to reason with them. Until then it's like dealing with a Tanzanian devil that needs naps.

Until they become more independent it is hard work. Just maybe in slightly different ways.
Is there any one thing that you think you could change that would improve things? Sleep is often the main one.

Tasmanian even

18 months was also a turning point for us.
We also had issues with sleep at 12 month, I ended up co sleeping for awhile. Not everyone’s cup of tea but we all got sleep.
Is he learning a new skill atm?
My LO was learning to walk at that age and whilst it’s great and their exploring it’s hard work!

As soon as mine started walking at 17 months, things got SO much easier. I always encouraged independent play too so that she was happy to sit a flip through a book or do imaginative play without needing me with her all the time and I could have a 10 minute cuppa without singing wheels on the bus! It does get easier, I promise.

@Smartiepants79 I feel like sleep is something I can improve upon so I've been really trying to get him into a consistent routine by waking him up same time everyday . Also I feel like if I stopped breastfeeding I would feel better , he breastfeeds multiple times a day in addition to him having 3 meals but it's exhausting

You are not alone at all. My DS was a very unsettled, colicky newborn, but got a lot easier at ~ 4 months and kept getting better and better. Around about 9.5/10 months though he developed a really fussy, demanding streak and if he’s not happy he sure as hell let’s you know. It’s been like this for nearly 3 months and I too feel knackered. Not the bone shattering tiredness of having a newborn but just mentally drained. DS is okay if we are busy busy busy out the house but woe betide me if I put him down to make lunch/tea/put a wash on etc. He’s desperate to walk and talk, agree with PP - I’m hoping it gets better when he masters these . Good luck x

the wonder weeks app still really helps me. I've just been wondering why I've been finding the last couple of weeks so hard with my 17m old but I just checked the WW app and he is in leap 10, so that explains it. plus teething. we also encourage a lot of independent play and he is pretty good at that to be fair.

@Motherofking it really is hard work at this age. My youngest is about the same age and is just non stop movement with no attention span so finding things to entertain whilst I get stuff done is hard. I'm bf still. In the last fortnight I have successfully introduced morning snack and then afternoon snack instead of bf so we are down to morning night and overnight if he wakes. It's obviously up to you if you want to stop bf or not so this is just what we've done. I relied on the don't offer, distract first and if that doesn't work and still want milk then don't refuse. I found it quickly led to him not asking and being more easily moved to a snack over the 2 weeks. I feel like just doing bed and wake feeds is way more manageable for this age. La Leche league has some good resources on feeding toddlers and distraction techniques if you want support.
Like others I think from 18m when they have more words it gets far easier. You're doing great. Hang in there.

@moonshine11 he is learning how to walk and also has three teeth coming through but overall I get frustrated at his behaviour . He doesn't act like other babies. For example everytime I change his nappy he starts crying and tries to move and he's getting bigger which makes it it harder to hold him down. Every meal time he sits in his high chair for 5 minutes eating then randomly starts crying trying to get out of the High chair so I have to spend ages trying to feed him whilst holding him at the same time . I take him out in the pram and he sometimes will cry trying to get out. Even I let him play independently or put on the TV after a short time he gets bored and starts being fussy

I remember my son going through an awful phase at about 12months old. Its easy to say it gets easier as they get older, but thats only true if you look at the bigger picture. There are many blips along the way!

[quote Motherofking]@moonshine11 he is learning how to walk and also has three teeth coming through but overall I get frustrated at his behaviour . He doesn't act like other babies. For example everytime I change his nappy he starts crying and tries to move and he's getting bigger which makes it it harder to hold him down. Every meal time he sits in his high chair for 5 minutes eating then randomly starts crying trying to get out of the High chair so I have to spend ages trying to feed him whilst holding him at the same time . I take him out in the pram and he sometimes will cry trying to get out. Even I let him play independently or put on the TV after a short time he gets bored and starts being fussy[/quote]
Honestly this all sounds normal. It sounds like he's developing a sense of independence. Its so annoying, but honestly its a phase and he'll calm down once hes got to grips with his new skills (walking/independence).

@Tickly thank you I will have a look on the website for advice . Ive been trying to add a snack but sometimes he refuses them and wants to bf but I think may have to be a little more consistent

I'm finding my 14 month old quite hard work, mainly because now she is walking she needs a lot of watching, but has a very short attention span and wants to get into everything. Add in teething and that she only has one nap now, and we have some very long days! Hoping it will get easier post 18 months as some people here have suggested.

Two turning points for us were when DD suddenly started to sleep through the night at 14 months and when I stopped breastfeeding at 16 months. Both things I never thought would happen. Better sleep made all the difference, before that I was woken up at least twice every night. She's now 18 months and although it's still challenging at times it's easier to deal with now I'm not so sleep deprived and I'm not tied down breastfeeding.

@Motherofking they do zoom calls too so you can chat with leaders and other mums about what you're trying to achieve. I know west London LLL will take zoom calls from anywhere in the Uk currently so you can register with them.

[quote Motherofking]@moonshine11 he is learning how to walk and also has three teeth coming through but overall I get frustrated at his behaviour . He doesn't act like other babies. For example everytime I change his nappy he starts crying and tries to move and he's getting bigger which makes it it harder to hold him down. Every meal time he sits in his high chair for 5 minutes eating then randomly starts crying trying to get out of the High chair so I have to spend ages trying to feed him whilst holding him at the same time . I take him out in the pram and he sometimes will cry trying to get out. Even I let him play independently or put on the TV after a short time he gets bored and starts being fussy[/quote]
This sounds really hard, but from my experience is also quite normal. Even my nephew (also ~ 12 months), who is the most chilled little chap, cries and tries to crawl off during nappy changes. My DS, who is a lot more high needs, starts to fuss before rapidly moving to screaming as soon as he has had enough of the buggy or high chair. My nephew will ‘play’ (crawl around putting things in his mouth) independently for maybe 5 or 10 minutes and my DS would rather someone was there at all times and bores within a couple of minutes. They are on the cusp of independence and it’s exciting but frustrating for them, even for the most chilled babies. It will pass - at least that’s what I’m telling myself!

Lockdown has made our bfing a lot more intense. My nearly 2 year old is still feeding loads purely because I'm in the house. With DD I was out and about a lot more so feeding naturally reduced but as I'm essentially on the sofa whenever I'm with him he's wanting it all the time.

The 'it gets easier' is often given frankly as a lie to help new parents cope better, because frankly, for many of us it's at least as hard, often much harder than a newborn.

When I had my second, I barely noticed I had a newborn as my toddler was so much work already, the baby added very little.

It's normal to feel this way. Every child is different, but somewhere between now and about 4-5 I expect it'll get easier again, depending on the child.

No advise really, just solidarity.

I mean I haven’t lied saying it was easier from 18 months?

I have to agree, 4-5 is when it starts to get easier. I have a almost 3 yo and a 5 yo and it’s definitely getting much better now. They really play with each other and keep each other entertained which is lovely.

12 months is definitely still hard work and tiring. You don’t notice it, it just gradually gets better as time goes on.

I find my 14mo WAY easier than he was when he was a newborn