Normal development or early signs of autism?

[SleepyMummaBear]

My 15 month old is a very happy little thing. But I’m starting to worry that some of his behaviours may be the first indicators of autism and wanted advice from parents of children of a similar age to know whether you think I should be concerned.

Sorry for the long post, just wanted to give as much info as possible in the hope to give you a full picture of why I’m worried.

For a long time now, mu boy has been super content playing alone and almost seems to zone you out when he is. He does involve you in some play, such as throwing/rolling a ball to and fro and looks delighted and smiles if you cheer when he’s done something.

He does make regular eye contact with me and smiles excitedly when our eyes meet and I’d probably say the same for his interactions with his bigger brother but he often tends to just ignore other people when they try to greet him and only begins to make any interactions if they are to perhaps tickle him or get super up close.

He loves flipping through the pages of books, especially noisy ones and stacking toys. I struggle to be able to read anything to him as he’s just intent on flipping to the next page!

He did learn to wave but seems to have stopped doing that and I’ve had no luck with pointing. I’ve been worried that he also doesn’t pay particular attention when I try to point to things to show him either, he just doesn’t seem bothered. He’ll pass me his water bottle when he’s thirsty or lead me by the hand to take me where he wants to go (although he’s happy to adventure alone!!).

Speech-wise, he says dada and has done for a while but doesn’t use it to get his dads attention although he will use it when he is around. He’s said mama a handful of times and only when he’s upset and wants me to pick him up.

He does babble to himself and does make some regular sounds that I’ve in the past thought are his interpretation of some words but that’s it.

He is stuck to me like glue at the moment and cry’s his heart out if I leave even to go to the loo, perhaps a result of three lockdowns and me returning to work at the end of the last one. He even gets super jealous if he sees me cuddling his older brother.

What are your honest thoughts? Should I be worried.

Any thoughts welcomed as my anxiety levels are at an all time high!!

Tbh that sounds pretty much like my 13 month. I have no worries and think it’s normal at this age

Hello Sleepy,

I’m sorry you have these concerns about your darling son. I know it’s not easy and of the things you’ve mentioned two immediately caught my attention and it’s your son not yet pointing and losing a skill he once had - the waving.

What you’ve mentioned about trying to interest him in books also immediately made me think that to him a book is all about turning pages and nothing much else. I’m having trouble explaining that though. Also, I can recall stacking things being a question I was asked many years ago I; regard to me son - my reply was if he’d arms long enough he could stack bricks to the moon.

There was also another question involving ‘does your child use you as a tool’ and I would class what you’ve described as your boy taking you by the hand to where he wants to go as being relevant.

I’m sorry I can’t be of more comfort to you but one thing I didn’t want to do was Pooh Pooh what you’ve observed and told us about and say you were being silly etc.

You’ve observed things that have you concerned and I’m listening to you.

I’m sorry your going through this, I’ve been there.
My son lost his waving too but, it’s come back. He’s also never pointed.
Whilst we have referred theres a lot more flags my son has than your DC.
Does your LO go to nursery?
Nursery made a massive difference to my son within weeks. He lost a year of socialising to COVID and whilst you can’t blame COVID 100% it does play it’s part.
But what I will say is your LO is still young so this does sound normal for his age tbh. When they get to 2 is when things need seen to.

DS1 had speech delay and in the assessment (before his second birthday) they ran through questions on the M-Chat list. It’s only a screening tool though to establish if there’s a need for further investigation:-

www.autismspeaks.org/screen-your-child

Also the book thing, I think sometimes the books are just too ‘long’ or ‘boring’ at this age. I try and read a board book but with 3-4 lines per page as it’s a better story, but he looses interest. However shorter books with just 1 line per page and lift flaps he will sit and go through the whole book together.

He sounds perfectly fine to me. He’s meeting all the developmental stages, which by the way should not be used as tick lists to decide if there’s something wrong with their development, but just a guide of stages children go through - at their own rate. Toddlers are very insular people for a while - everything is about them, they play by themselves, only do what they want to do rather that do things on demand such as pointing and clapping. They don’t know what a book is or how to ‘read’ one instinctively - my grandson spends hours lifting the flaps in his books, the book can be upside down, sideways or back to front, he’s still enjoying the book. You will find that the next 12 months he will show a massive developmental spurt - please don’t see a problem in every little thing he does - or doesn’t do.

@Caspianberg

Also the book thing, I think sometimes the books are just too ‘long’ or ‘boring’ at this age. I try and read a board book but with 3-4 lines per page as it’s a better story, but he looses interest. However shorter books with just 1 line per page and lift flaps he will sit and go through the whole book together.

This 100%. This was actually a question in the 2 year check for fine motor skills!

google the wonder weeks, could be something like that rather than anything more sinister.

My son was diagnosed very young. It's hard to say based on your description but advise you read upon the screening criteria.
Behaviours my son exhibited would be: no pointing, didn't respond to name, didn't respond to instructions, would play with toys in an atypical way, obsessive and repetitive play with particular objects, no mirroring or copying, liked to play independently, no attempt at speech, no interest in other people or children, very sensory seeking. There's probably more, we had to do huge interviews and assessments which took hours.

Whether he is or not, you can focus on "joint attention" that's trying to play together where he is engaged with you, even if it's only for 5 mins.

I expect if his speech doesn't develop you will be referred to speech and language at 2 year HV check in.

I know it's a worrying thing but try to just focus on nice time with your son, even if he was on the pathway, there's not actually a huge amount you can do at this age other than focus on simple words and instructions, encouraging joint play and do something then pause for him to request more etc.

Sounds totally normal to me.

Sorry sleepy, just to say that I knew as soon as my now 30 year old son was born that something wasn’t quite right and by the time he was 8 months old I suspected he was as described in an article I’d read about autism. In fact his diagnosis by Lorna Wing and Judith Gould, two world experts on autism was Classic Kanners autism which meant he completely fitted the bill for a diagnosis. I think it helped me that he was the youngest of a lot of children and I had so much experience as a mum that I just knew. By 12 months I’d involved health professionals and he had a diagnosis by 30 months.

Sounds pretty normal at the moment. I didn’t speak really till almost three as I could get my message across without it, such as leading you by the hand. Dd didn’t speak until very late but when she did, it was full sentences etc.

I think you are worrying too early.

His behaviours sound pretty spot on for a 15 month old.

They tend to prefer to play alone or alongside others rather than with as they're busy building their motor skills and exploring how things work at this stage - social skills come later on so I wouldn't worry too much about that right now if he's happy to interact at other times.

Remember that communication isn't just about words so the fact that he's making eye contact and smiling, putting his hands up, handing you his water bottle, babbling and saying Mama/Dada shows that he's working on it every day.

Books are a funny one, us adults are so intent on reading the words in order but actually they're just dying to see what the next picture will be, at that stage they won't connect you talking with the book. You could be reading your shopping list for all he knows so don't worry about the page flipping!

Right now, I wouldn't be concerned personally but speak to your HV if you need too :)

Sorry Sleepy, just to say I’ve name changed in this thread.

I've got 2 children past that age and what you describe sounds perfectly normal.

It might help you to see if there are any local playgroups opening up where you are. I know with my 1st DC it really helped seeing other people's kids and speaking to other mums so I got an idea of normal and advice (generally better and nicer than MN)

Sounds a lot like my 14mo and im not concerned about autism.

My son also seems to gain a skill, loose it for a number of weeks, then do it again and keep the skill. Its like he practising first, then consolidates it, then only does it again when he's totally mastered it.

I was also a bit concerned about the speech thing, but he communicates well by doing other things so I genuinely think he doesnt see the need to do it as all his needs are met without doing it.

@MaBroon21 How did you knew? How is your son doing now?

It's too early to tell, but what you've said isn't waving any flags for me. He might be going through a bit of separation anxiety/shyness, he might have glue ear because of a passing cold and not hear other people speaking to him, could be any number of reasons for the behaviour you've described.