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3 year old doesn't listen to instructions

9 replies

Pip64hogwash · 03/06/2021 22:38

My 3 year son has just started swimming by himself, before we went to toddler and parent classes and got on well. The issue is, he doesn't listen to the teachers, they have a smaller section cornered off for the class and he goes under the ropes and generally doesn't follow what the teacher asks. He's been taken out and put in time outs during the lesson by the instructor but that doesn't seem to bother him, he just gets back in once allowed and carries on. We have made a sticker chart and I always talk to him before and after about what we expect, but this seems to go straight over his head.

Someone came out today and asked if there is anything I think they can do, and I honestly didn't know what to say and all I could do was apologise.

We also attend another class, where because of covid restrictions we have to stay in our own little section, all the other children seem to get on well with him, but I have a battle keeping him where he's meant to be, as he either runs off or throws the props into the centre as a excuse to run off.

He is generally quite hard work at the moment and if we are out and about he sometimes runs off even though I explain what I expect of him.

I'm not even sure what my point is, I'm just feeling like a pretty terrible mother at the moment and quite low and wonder if anyone else has experienced the same? He just seems like be so much younger than the other children in some ways. He doesn't attend nursery yet, but will in September, so I'm not sure if that makes a difference. Thanks for reading!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
schoolfinder007 · 03/06/2021 22:39

Firstly, have you had his hearing/ears checked?

Failing this, he sounds like a very typical 3 year old

Pip64hogwash · 03/06/2021 22:45

No I haven't actually, but it might be worth checking, thank you.

His behaviour does seem to be different to the other children, but I do wonder if it is just in the normal range and maybe I should stop his swimming lessons until he's a bit older and just take him by myself. (He generally gets on much better that way). We have ADHD and autism on my maternal side, so I think I can't help but see symptoms of those sometimes.

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Cushionsnotpillows · 03/06/2021 22:51

Sounds pretty normal for 3.

I think the instructors are expecting far too much of 3 year olds if they want full attention and following their instructions through the class. 3 year olds have the attention span of a mayfly.

We went in with our kids until at least age 4. If only as crowd control, nowt to do with the swimming part.

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Pip64hogwash · 03/06/2021 22:56

Thank you both, it's good to hear it from someone else - I do have a few friends I've met with kids the same age, but they just seem to have their shit together and you end up worrying about asking!

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Floozymum · 03/06/2021 23:19

He sounds like my 3 year old DS. I persevere with football every-week where 9 times out of 10 he is running off with a cone on his head/randomly crawling on the floor/climbing up my leg.

That being said he can follow the instructions when he chooses too and he usually isn't the only one playing up.

I guess it is a lot harder in a swimming pool though, but personally I would carry on with it if he is enjoying the sessions.

thebeesknees123 · 03/06/2021 23:26

My daughter was very like this when she was 3 and had similar comments from nursery workers and the like. I also felt like a terrible parent but please don't do this to yourself.

She is a teenager now but the jury is still out on whether she has ADHD - she almost had a diagnosis aged 14 but didn't quite meet the criteria. Girls are notoriously difficult to diagnose and I feel you would be unlikely to get a diagnosis at this stage even with a boy but it wouldn't hurt to flag it up - especially as you have a family history. My advice to you is not to beat about the bush about what you want the professionals to be looking at, either.

Lmcint30 · 13/01/2022 14:03

Hello, sorry a bit late to join in the thread but was wondering how your little boy is getting on? This sounds exactly like my 3 year old, taking him to classes and he just doesn’t listen, in fact I’m sure he deliberately does the opposite of what is asked of him. We pulled out of swimming when he was due to go in himself as knew it would be a disaster. If you take him to the side and to speak to him he would be completely unphased and then just go back and carry on what he was doing before the way you described! Looking for some help

User48751490 · 13/01/2022 14:16

My children didn't get lessons until around 8 when they could get on with focusing at a lesson. 3yo attention span is very limited.

Emmiep1 · 04/11/2024 21:20

Hi I wondered how you were getting on? Im
in a similar position

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