3 year old sleeping problems

[Mama1993]

Ordinarily gets up between 5.30 and 6.30. anything after 6 is considered a really good day but it's never any later than 6.30 which I don't mind as we all need to get up and start the day anyway.

However it's more often 5.30am. He usually goes to bed at 8.30 but sometimes it's closer to 9! Because of this he still naps in the day, something we've tried to stop but he obviously really needs it so it's a hard cycle to break out of.

Last night we woke up at 1.30 because he was scared of the dark (forgot to leave the landing light on) I laid with him for a bit in his bed and then snuck off back to my room but he never settled. Back and forth in-between our bed and his, neither of us really slept. He needed a poo at 3am - one way to wake you up! And after that we came downstairs and have been watching tele from about 4am.

I'm just so tired (38 weeks pregnant) and thought we'd have a good sleeping pattern by now. Terrified about how awful we're all going to feel when the baby comes and sleep is compromised even further!

Also my husband usually does the early starts but it was so early this morning that I did it myself as he works with machinery and heights so is important he's not tired at work.

Does anyone have any words of wisdom / advice?

It might sound counterintuitive but move bed time earlier. When my 3 year old goes to bed any later than 7.30pm he is up so much earlier and has more restless sleep. He does 7.30pm to 7am pretty consistently now with no day nap. Worth a try?

We had a gro clock which changes from "day" to "night" colours so that the child can visually see what the time is. You could try getting one and initially set it to "wake up" at 5.30 if that's his normal waking time and gradually move it back so it "wakes up" at the time you prefer him to wake. He might still wake up before the time, but then the rule is that you don't call through or go downstairs until it wakes up.

Make his room safe so that if he wakes up early, he can stay in his room to play quietly, look at books or listen to an audiobook rather than going downstairs and watching TV which is stimulating and encouraging early wake ups. Then at least you can doze while he is awake and playing.

I would also drop the nap and then move his bedtime earlier. Are there any times when you have a few days in a row where he doesn't have anything like nursery/preschool in the afternoons? Don't let him nap, just power through and put him to bed at 7pm. It will probably be a few tough afternoons but might help solve the sleep issue.

Yes definitely move bedtime earlier if you can

Sympathies. My 3 year old hasn’t been a great sleeper at times. She gets up at 5.30am at the moment (summer) but is asleep around 7pm. She sleeps in our bed half the night after a brief wake up. It’s not perfect but we do all get enough sleep.

You definitely need to drop the nap - perhaps have a day at home where you can power through it, having quiet time at the point when he’s tired. You might even need to do that bedtime at 6.30. I was also advised no TV in the mornings or after 4pm. - we’d gotten into the habit of popping the tv on first thing which was definitely exacerbating the early waking.

Also - we were told to work on how we settled - so ensuring that they lie down in their own bed independently and then we sit with them until asleep, gradually doing that less and less. We never made it to the lie them down and leave the room stage but in theory we’re told to be working towards their independence in falling asleep.

Thank you all, this is all very helpful advice.

We have a gro-clock and it worked a treat for a while but lately hasn't been having the same effect. I also think summer might be to blame for that as he thinks when the real sun is out that's time to get up.

I know that his bedtime needs to be earlier, we have tried but it's difficult when he's not tired as he'll just throw a tantrum and comes down stairs. I know I need to be stricter though and at least implement more 'quiet time' in his bedroom.

Same goes with the daytime nap. I guess we will have to power through some difficult days to really drop the nap. It makes so much sense and I know it's something I need to be consistent with.

Interesting about the television too. That will be a difficult habit to break but I can certainly see why it would be a good thing. He's just so used to getting his own way in the morning because we're all so tired and can't be dealing with a screaming toddler at 5.30 but I know we have to!

Thanks again

Sounds like my DD! She usually only has a nap a couple of days a week now (usually at the weekend) and that seems to help a bit but we still have the odd late night - though she's started "reading" in bed by herself after stories so that takes the pressure off us.

The gro clock is useless as she just ignored it. I only put the TV on from 6am and there's no milk till then either so if she gets up mega early she just has to sit on the sofa quietly. On demand TV doesn't work till the afternoon on our TV. 😉 There's been a bit of a change over the last few weeks and this morning it was a 6.30am start! I think having a new baby messes with their worlds so much- we had our second six months ago and there was a definite shift in sleep pattern and problems. They completely adore each other but some days it's a competition to see who the worse sleeper is!

@Getawriggleon

That's a good idea with the reading. I think that would work for us too actually. My husband and I agree we probably can't cut out Tele completely in the morning but should definitely hold off until 6am, seems fair!

Have you found that your daughter and newborn wake each other up? I'm wondering wether me and the baby will end up having to sleep downstairs...

I know that you shouldn't coincide any major changes to their routine with a new sibling arriving but I think we will have to. We've left it long enough as it is by the sounds of things.

Thanks for your advice

P.s DS + I just slept 6.45-9.15 so feeling a bit better about the day ahead. Determined to set some boundaries as of this evening starting with 7pm quiet time and in bed by 7.30!

I would try to drop the nap and bring bedtime earlier; since we dropped DDs nap when she was 3 she sleeps much better.
I had DD just before DD turned 2 and even though we were in the room next door he didn’t wake DD during the night; if he woke around 5.30am then he would but it sounds like you’re used to that anyway

They woke each other up on the first couple of nights but not after that. We took one kid each for the first 6 weeks so that helped with the nights (although we were both completely shattered). DD has sometimes woken him up when she's come in early in the morning but we have a chat about that not being kind. I just try to get out of bed the second I hear here now.

How long is he napping for atm? If you're unable to drop is completely could you shorten the nap?