Feeling guilty when things aren’t perfect..?

[Peanutbuttercupisyum]

I wonder if anyone else feels like this?
It’s half term, DH working 12 hour days and I’m with my 3 boys all week, aged between 4 and 9. We went to a local attraction in the morning, they all loved it. Came home, gave them some lunch and planned to spend the afternoon doing paddling pool type stuff, and then take the dog for a stroll. Which we did. But I imagined having a total laugh with them and being relaxed but instead i was running around, actually feeling quite grumpy, filling up paddling pool, fannying about with slides, breaking up arguments, repeatedly telling them to wear a t shirt (v pale) tidying garden, whilst feeling gross (early preg). I should have just relaxed and played with them, read my book and chilled but I felt like towards the end of the afternoon I was just yelling at them, and they’d barely done a thing wrong other than fight with each other.
But then I mull it over for ages and keep thinking what I should have done differently etc! Why?! They all had a lovely time mainly, so why do I get all worked up that it wasn’t perfect?

Sounds very tough! Might be worth trying to pick your battles a bit more,? Not sure if you can leave anything to natural consequences, then all you have to do is be sympathetic when it goes wrong. And let them organise themselves a bit more too, so you are not the entertainer. Even if there's not much to do they will find something, and maybe they will discover teamwork without relying on your to mediate and declare what the fault is all the time.
I know it must be hard in reality but think of yourself more like a leader rather than a doer for as much stuff as you can get away with! Good luck.