Struggling being a mother

[PaigeTWoodd]

Hi everyone, I just kinda want to get this out of my system. Not expecting sympathy at all or even advice but I just want to write this.

My baby is 13 months now and I’ve been struggling from the start of my pregnancy. I just feel so exhausted all the time and unable to enjoy life anymore. I love my baby but I don’t feel well enough to be the mother I want to be for her. I feel ashamed everyday but I physically struggle just to get through the day.

I have everything I could ask for, all the help and support I need but none of it helps me feel better. Doctors say there’s nothing wrong with me physically. I am on antidepressants Incase it’s depression but I don’t think it is. Nothing is working.

I had a very absent mother as a child and my aunt raised me. The same aunt is helping with my baby and I fear beyond words that my baby will bond with her and resent me the way I did with my mam.

I know what I want to be but I just can’t seem to get my body to do it for me. If it was just me I could live with that but I have my baby to look after and I’m failing.

I suspect a lot of it could be suppressed feelings around your childhood and Mum. Perhaps you would benefit from having therapy to help you process them and your fears?

It's common for issues to surface when you have your own children.

Is exhaustion the key issue? See it as a lovely benefit you have your aunt there and don't worry about the bonding thing. Babies aren't truly meant to be raised alone, the saying that a whole village raises a child exists for a reason.

Have you gone away for overnight stays for days at a time to be able to sleep and recharge? Some people truly need proper sleep and downtime to function and it doesn't mean you're in any way a failure, it's simply what your body needs to be physically, mentally and emotionally healthy. Make sure you get this and take advantage of all the support you can get

Thanks a million I was thinking that is a part of it alright, it definitely doesn’t help the situation. I will go counselling for this I think. Thanks so much for responding

Hi Sarah yeah exhaustion is the key problem. I haven’t gone anywhere without baby with lockdown where I live. I was thinking this might have something to do with it but also look at all the other mammys out there able to cope well under these circumstances and it makes me feel like there must be something Wrong with me. Thanks so much for the reply