Hurt feelings, newborns name

[EternallySleepy]

I have a 2 week old baby and a 3 year old. With my 3 year old we had a name and shared with family from my 20 week scan as the name was set. No (unwelcome) comments from family on the name.

With my 2 week old we struggled to decide on a name we loved just as much and so didn’t share with family until baby was 6 days old.

I have always got on with my in laws, they are lovely people. But recently they have made comments about my 2 weeks olds name and it’s really hurt my feelings. I don’t know whether to let it go or ask my husband to mention it as it’s now gone beyond a one off.

For example when my husband told them his name my MIL said ‘oh no, now I know you’re joking’ and BIL mocking it too (face time call). My husband actually hung up but I’d overheard and went upstairs and cried. Then husband got a text from BIL saying MIL had said ‘she (me) chose that, not John’ (name changed).

Probably partly hormones but this has really upset me. It’s not even an outlandish name, along them lines of - Jack/Ben/Harry

Would you drop it?

I've got a two month old. My moM hates his name. To be honest I like it but I'm not 100% on it. But really couldn't think of another name we both liked. Anyway, she's made it very clear she doesn't like it and even suggested I change it! That made me even more determined to keep the name. But that's just me. She also didn't like the name we chose for my daughter. But you know what, give it a few weeks and it will all be brushed under the carpet. Your child, your name! Also hormones are probably playing a big part here.

No, I wouldn't. That's really shitty. It doesn't have to be a big row but your DH needs to let them know they've overstepped.

Congratulations on your baby. I'm sure they have a beautiful name.

My ILs always have to make some sort of comment about everything, it’s wearing. Tell your husband to tell them it’s not up for discussion and stick to it. I’m sure it’s a lovely name and all that matters is that you like it.

Tell them you're not interested in their thoughts.

Your DH should tell them they’ve upset you.

It sounds like they have responded really poorly, OP. I am not surprised you are upset. I would tell them that you haven't asked for their opinions on the name, and that their behaviour is hurtful.

Your baby, your choice. Congratulations on your little boy. This will blow over. If you both like it, no other opinion matters. If it is mentioned in a derogatory manner again by the in laws, your dh needs to pipe up & say something along the lines of actually I chose it & Sleepy agreed she liked it. We did not ask for your opinion so please don't mention it again.

My exMIL hated the name we chose for our DD and refused to call her by it . Ex said it was my choice ( it was a joint choice) so she accused me of being a bully ! I stopped seeing her and refused to allow her to see DD.
After ex and I split up she never saw DD or DS again .
Her loss.

Thank you for the replies. I think I will ask him to speak to them about it, 1. to nip it in the bud now and 2. because I am still feeling upset by it.

@Oldbutstillgotit sounds awful, but you are right, it is absolutely her loss

Yes he needs to say they’ve upset you both and if they don’t like the name then no need to see you to use it then!

When my ds was born years ago mil said she hated the name and wouldn't be using it. Told her no law said she had to see ds at all.
She stfu then.
And her mil said he had to be called after her dh. Mm think not. Though did use a version as his mn out of respect not duty. He was a lovely man.
Ime everybody has something to say. Your mil just opened her gob without her brain in gear...

It’s a bit crap but as long as it doesn’t come up again I’d let it go. With in-laws you’ve got to pick your battles. I’d hope the husband would tell them off in private anyway.

@mamas12

Yes he needs to say they’ve upset you both and if they don’t like the name then no need to see you to use it then!

Definitely this. DH needs to show you are united on this.

And even if you hate a name, when you meet a new baby or compliment the name (even if you have to be quite creative). They were rude.

You can't expect everyone to like a name as much as you do, but you can expect some basic manners

(You comment on names only if invited to, and even then you pull your punches unless it's in a forum where the whole point is to give unfiltered views)

They sound horrible.

Definitely get DH to say that he is upset with them about it and that they’re being very unkind.