The best thing you can do is to be more responsive to him. As in, don’t try and ‘fill him’ with language, don’t be doing loads of saying nana or baba. Don’t be reading constantly or singing enough. Probably the best thing that you can do is ask the HV to also help with your anxiety - refer you if she can or you can do online cognitive behaviour therapy or use some excellent apps.
Honestly I wouldn’t say that he has big red flags. I’m saying that as someone who is very, very aware of all the signs of autism.
It’s a good idea to get him checked by an audiologist, however again, he’s grabbing the right animal so he is picking up language. He’s hearing and processing speech (which always comes before spoken speech).
I’m not saying that he’s definitely not autistic, it’s really too early. But his signs are not so clearly pointing to autism yet.
IF he is autistic, then responding is better than ‘pushing and speaking over’ them. There is a lot of evidence that what can massively help in the early years is being responsive and giving your baby & toddler lots of time and patience. If THEY babble, respond. If THEY pick up a car, say ‘brrrmmm’, if THEY look at a teddy, say ‘TEDDY’. Do loads and loads of proverbal play - take the pressure off language - tickling, to and fro games. These are good whether your child is autistic or not for language.
IF you are interested, look up the Hanen programme - for any child (autistic or not) with delayed speech or pointing. This is excellent. But in essence it is, again, what they call OWL.
Observe - what is the child doing, playing with?
Wait - don’t just take over, engage WITH what your child is already doing. Fun little claps if he likes it. Anything he likes or is already doing.
Listen - what sounds is your child making? Respond and expand. If he is just making ‘aaaa’ then model this back in a playful way.
This is the opposite of what is pushed by Health Visitors but is more effective if language is delayed for any reason.
And just to say, I know it’s a very remote possibility that your child is autistic. However after the shock, it is still the same gorgeous lovely child. My son is absolutely fantastic, he has struggles for sure, but can also do amazing things that most other children can’t do!