I hate being a parent of a toddler

[Wanttocry]

DD is 23 months and I hate every single part of parenting. Th endless sodding whining! I can’t even think of a reason I’m not walking out and never coming back at this point.
I have no excuse for feeling like this, her behaviour is (as far as I know) within the bounds of expected toddler behaviour, DH is a wonderful husband and father, and I work full time so have large blocks of time away from DD. But I still cannot cope. She wakes at 5 every day and it is killing me, I am exhausted all the time. The thought of the bank holiday tomorrow makes me want to weep. The weekend so far has just been one endless tantrum and I just cannot do it any more. I hate who I’ve become, a horrible snappy impatient nagging bitch basically. I know I’m being awful and unreasonable, I know other parents of toddlers have this and just deal with it better, but I can’t stop it. I cannot make myself enjoy any part of what my life has become.

I didnt want to read and run - and just give you a bit of solidarity because its really fucking hard being a toddler parent. I've had a similar weekend! Mostly I just tell myself this is another phase that will be over soon and ill have something new to deal with. Do you have family/friend support that can help you out so you could have a night away? I find a decent nights sleep always makes things seem better.

It is really hard being a parent to a toddler. I have 22 month old twins and it is awful sometimes. Do you get any time to yourself, just to have a break from it all? I would also recommend Sarah Ockwell Smith’s book on gentle parenting as well as a book called How to talk so kids will listen and to listen so kids will talk. This phase won’t last forever!

I completely understand OP. My 2 year old woke up at 3 am (again) and has only just fallen asleep. I got less than 3 hours of sleep and won't get a chance to nap until late afternoon and have no idea how I will cope. We just need to remember it WILL end. Just hang in there and remember that millions of mums have been through it and have come out on the other side enjoying life again. It will happen to both of us too

Getting time to yourself (and an empty house while you have it) plus getting out of the house as much as you can while looking after DC can help with these feelings.

Just spotted that you work full time. You must be exhausted. It's not sustainable to do that plus deal with a very early start. I hope you can find a way of getting more support. It sounds incredibly hard.

It is hard OP.

I think we turned a corner at about 27m when DS' speech developed a bit more and he had more say in choices. We still get tantrums, they're just not quite so intense.

I agree with pp that you need some time to yourself.

For you 💐 xx

It does get better. My son was very much like this. He gradually got better around 3 and now at 3.5 he’s mostly lovely to be around. I think for him it was linked to him be able to speak/express himself more clearly so that he can now easily make himself understood and he doesn’t get frustrated.

Do you have any friends you could meet up with that have children? Finding ‘your people’ can really help- ideally friends who won’t judge when you need to offload! I found if he was being a whinge bag, being with other mums who were experiencing the same really helped.

You're nearly there op! Another year... It does become so much better. I had 2 under 2 and it was almost completely shit!! I described it as an abusive relationship. You tread on egg shells trying not to upset them, bend over backwards, feed them their fave food, fave tv etc, then something would flip them and they'd go mad, and I'd be left thinking, but I tried so hard, you had chocolate and Balamory

You need a rest.

Sounds like you need a day to yourself OP. Could you arrange with DP that on a weekend soon you go out for the day and do something you enjoy either on your own or with a friend or parent or sibling.

It’s very hard. My eldest is 27 months now and things have gotten a lot easier over the last couple of months as his speech has developed. Still tantrums over snacks but before they were about everything. Around 23/24 months was torture, I thought I would run away too!

It gets better really quickly OP.

My ds was constantly demanding and whining which is tough when you're working full time and running a house. Then at 26 months he somehow came to terms with his world and turned into a happy funny, if boisterous small boy with conversation. And he slept through until 7am as well.
Can grandparents help with the next couple of months?

Mine is 18m older than yours OP, and still whines constantly. When does it stop?! I cope by telling myself it is slowly getting better as time passes, it’s only temporary and I will never have any more children. Honestly I think nowadays people are so isolated that their first real experience of a small child is when they have one themselves. Otherwise they’d know how awful kids are and would never have one.

Agree with others that it gets better around 27 months or so with more speech.

However yesterday my toddler had such a huge tantrum in the morning that I fed her chocolate muffins for breakfast to shut her up because I just couldn’t anymore.

Have hope that it definitely will improve.

Hi op, I have three children and in my experience there is a turning point around aged 2.5 where children become a little more rational and easier to deal with. Language and communication improve and they can do more things for themselves. In the meantime try to extend the morning sleep. Blackout the room completely. At the 5am wake you could try going in to resettle and if that doesn’t work just sit in there in the dark until 6. There will be tears but after a few days should help reset the body clock.
My youngest is now 2.7 and the difference between now and your child’s age is huge. Potty trained, toddler bed so gets up herself and comes in (I prefer this to having to get up myself) talkative and loads of fun. Hope things improve for you.

Honestly I think nowadays people are so isolated that their first real experience of a small child is when they have one themselves. Otherwise they’d know how awful kids are and would never have one.

Oh my gosh @Donitta this is so true. Well for me, I would still have them but I just didn’t know what I was in for at all.

OP. You need a break. You need to alternate the 5am starts with your husband. What is the nap situation like? I remember DD’s 5am phase and it was so shit. 6am is acceptable but no earlier!

Do you have help from grandparents? Can you and DH have a date day? Book a spa day? Take some annual leave while your little one is at nursery?

I think life is so hard for us toddler parents because the sympathy has wavered but you’re still dealing with the same level of stress, and sometimes sleep deprivation as the baby days! Life can feel relentless. My DD is nearly 3 and I’m pregnant. She’s amazing now but she still has really whiny days, and it’s hard work. I find being around people helps, I make sure I invite family over so it’s not so intense. It distracts her if she’s got someone else to play with.

Mine is the same age as yours and I completely understand how you feel.
Usually when I am on my period and in pain, snappy and easily annoyed it’s much harder and last week I was in tears as well after he was non stop crying and whining for 2 hours.
You have my utmost sympathy and you’re not alone. Feel free to PM me anytime you could use a mutual complain session.