6 year old wishes I was dead

[CharleyFarleyy]

I know she doesn't mean it (I hope not any way) but it feels like shit. She has really challenging behaviour and serious and sometimes violent "meltdowns". She's on the waiting list for an autism assessment but I had a letter saying that will be a very very very long wait. Feel very trapped and hopeless. Not really sure why I'm posting just wanted to get it out i think.

That is always hard to hear, even if you know it isn't meant.
Is there any way you can pay for a private assessment to speed the process up?

Have you looked at books like the explosive child?

It isn't easy parenting a child with SEN.

My five year old daughter is autistic (diagnosed at 3).

When she's 'going into one' so sort of yellow zone before the red zone meltdown she often tells me that I'm not her mum, I'm horrible, she wishes I wasn't her mum, that she's going to live in another house on her own because she doesn't like her family, that she doesn't love me.

It's horrible to hear. Horrible. But she does not mean it and nor does your child. They say it to you because you are their utter safe space and because they know no matter how awful they are to you, you'll never leave unlike others who obviously wouldn't tolerate this sort of abuse!

I tried, firstly to leave the room when this was happening. But the DD would scream, cry, cling to me like a baby. It's during these times that she actually needs me most. So now I just sit quietly and ignore it until she either snaps out of it, or goes fully into meltdown which I have to leave to burn out anyway.

Chin up. You're not alone.

My 9 year old does not have autism and can say some pretty nasty things to me when she's not happy about things. She's just an ass tbh but she doesn't really mean it so I let it slide. I think ignoring it and moving on is best. Our 10 year old is waiting on autism assessment and is always nice to me, throws fits with his siblings or his stuff but never me.

I've asd and honestly my brain has no idea what I'm saying when I'm in a melt down. It's usually like a kind of defense mechanism for me , I'll say anything to the person to get them to go away or to stop what I don't like. It must be so hard to hear but try and tell yourself that she doesn't mean it. Hopefully as she gets older she will be able to regulate herself a bit more and recognise that she is starting to meltdown. I'm able to know the signs the majority of the times now. 💐💐

Thank you all, its really helpful to hear that I'm not alone, sometimes I feel really hard done by and I wonder why I have to deal with this which realistically I know is so silly as lots of people are dealing with not only the same but also so much worse 🤦‍♀️

Also hearing it from the perspective of someone with asd is helpful, I need to try and put myself in my daughters position more.