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Pregnancy at 21

5 replies

Donut2101 · 30/05/2021 09:22

Hi, I am 21. I took a year off uni to focus on mental health and now I'm pregnant. I was happy when I saw the test and my boyfriend was happy too and we both feel like maybe our reaction isn't normal given that we're only 21. We still have to tell his parents but he's pretty sure they will help us out as they have done so for his other siblings. I know there's a lot of financial and other worries, but I feel like going through with it is the best option so I would try doing uni at the same time and then if it's too much for me I would take another year off uni and then later come back to it. My only worry is what if I never come back to it? What if I like having kids so much that what I might potentially want won't matter? All I know is nothing makes me more happy than the thought of having this baby, but the reasonable thing to do would be to have an abortion according to the rest of the world. Since I was little I always had to care for everyone around me, my friend's children, my mom's children, elderly, so I know a lot about how to raise a healthy kid and the things I don't know I will ask help with, I am not worried about that, but only if it's wrong to choose a kid over a career if that does happen? I think I will finish uni but I am unmotivated to do so with or without the baby.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Donut2101 · 30/05/2021 09:22

What do you guys think?

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Fitforforty · 30/05/2021 09:31

Only you know if this is right for you.

If your not motivated to finish uni then you won’t do it especially with an baby.

My biggest concern would be the impact on your mental health, even if you’ve looked after other having the responsibility of a child 24/7 and all those hormone and body changes.

We’re you using contraception or was the baby planned? How are you going to make this work financially? How long have you been in it’s your boyfriend?

Donut2101 · 30/05/2021 09:53

It wasn't planned, I have some money saved up, he has some money saved up, he works all the time already and has a steady job and his parents would help us out initially.

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Chelyanne · 30/05/2021 11:34

It will not be easy but if you want to make it work, you will.

We had our 1st when I was 21 and he was 19. I was part qualified at the time and due to costs I couldn't continue, I became a sahm after being made redundant when pregnant with our 2nd (5yr age gap). His work covered the bulk of costs for his education so he took full advantage of that. It was very hard financially but it got easier as the years passed. We are comfortable on a single income, got on the property ladder when eldest was a year old and now have our 6th child due Aug.

Donut2101 · 30/05/2021 12:53

Thank You for your reply, Chelyanne. And oh wow that's a happy bunch! Congrats!

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