AIBU family want to keep their kids on US time zone!!!

[Bethany1121]

My family lives all over the world and we are all planning to meet at my Mums this summer. We all have young kids and it’s going to be great fun but obviously a mad house.
The only issue is that my brother lives in America and is insisting that he will keep his kids on that time zone.
Therefore his kids will have an 11pm bed time and be getting up at 10/11am.
Therefore no adult time and extremely long days for the parents who will be up 7am with their own little ones. Not the mention upsetting the kids who live in the UK when they still have to go to bed the normal 7pm and not stay up late with their American cousins.

I have tried talking to my brother but he is adamant his kids will stay on US time and not suffer jet lag, he even suggested we alter our kids schedule to suit.
I am absolutely dreading the visit because of this reason. Days with toddlers are long enough already.

Maybe a compromise? You could both aim for 9pm bedtime rather than 7pm or 11pm? That way he has less jet lag to deal with and your DC get a fun late holiday bedtime.

Slightly bonkers as he will find out. You keep your own schedule. I suspect the Kids will adjust within a day or two.

Please, please, please do an update after the visit to let us know how his bonkers idea worked out

Hahahahaha. No chance. The kids will start moving their body clocks of their own accord.

The kids will get into a different routine themselves like we do when we go on holiday within a few days. They won’t be sleeping at 10am if they can hear their cousins playing and will most likely be bored when cousins go to bed and want to go too

Actually after reading the other posts think you are no better if you expect to keep to your rigid bed time of 7pm, a compromise would be better

So if you wanted to go to Attraction A, that is open 10-6 for example, he wouldn't want leave until 12ish, and waste half the day?

I sort of get it... Tired grumpy kids are a pain on holiday. But the flight itself will throw their clocks out and they will be exhausted on day one.

Lots of kids together on holiday means everyone schedule will go out of the window.

Both you and your brother are charmingly naive that you can’t keep your kids to any kind of strict routine in a new environment, with their grandparents and cousins on tap for 24/7 fun for 14 days. Forget about what everyone else is doing and just plan on having a good time and catching up with your family. All the kids will be fine.

Is he going to get daylight bulbs to mimic it being light until 11pm (unless you're in Scotland where it is!), blackout blinds and ear plugs to block out the dawn chorus?

I actually think trying to do this will mess up his kids circadian rhythms MORE than a day or 2 of jet lag

I would just shrug and get on with your own routines. His DC will probably fall into UK time naturally.

They'll soon get fed up of waiting for reheated meals.

You do you OP and let your DB manage his own DC. They'll naturally adjust and it's bonkers to think they won't unless the house has blackout blinds throughout and everyone is prepared to tiptoe around each morning until they get up. But don't get into an argument. Tell him you're not going to do anything different to accommodate his wishes, but that he's free to manage his own DC as he sees fit.

If you’re all staying together then the kids will all just naturally end up having similar routines I imagine. There’s no way theirs will stay asleep in the morning if they can hear others playing! However I also think you’ll be lucky to get yours in bed at 7 when there’s so much going on.

I think you both need to forget about a rigid timetable and just go with the flow, you’re all on holiday remember so normal routines can be relaxed a bit!

@Autumn101

If you’re all staying together then the kids will all just naturally end up having similar routines I imagine. There’s no way theirs will stay asleep in the morning if they can hear others playing! However I also think you’ll be lucky to get yours in bed at 7 when there’s so much going on.

I think you both need to forget about a rigid timetable and just go with the flow, you’re all on holiday remember so normal routines can be relaxed a bit!

This exactly!

I gather he hasn't travelled outside of his timezone with his kids EVER.
Leave him to it, OP. You stick with your schedule. And tell him to pack plenty of Orville Redenbacher... enough to entertain you for two weeks.

Hahahahahahahaaaaaaa

Bonkers

I’d still be sending my kids to bed at their bed time , feeding them at their breakfast time etc what he wants to do with his kids is his own business

@IEat

I’d still be sending my kids to bed at their bed time , feeding them at their breakfast time etc what he wants to do with his kids is his own business

But that's as inflexible and unhelpful as the brother keeping on US time.

My in laws basically do this when they visit. At first it drove us crazy but after a few days we just started to live separately. We'd say 'we're going to leave for the beach at 10, planning to be back about 3. Dinner's at 6' or whatever and got on with our holiday. They did almost nothing except hang about the house.

You could just be a bit of a pain the first day or so... Loud TV and toys for kids in the morning.. all the fun activities in the morning and then talk about it all day in front of other kids, organise similar fun activities for following days while they're in bed. Make bed time fun and special for your kids... Movie and popcorn in bed or something? They'll want to do the same after a few days

He’s clearly not experienced at being a parent.

He's bonkers but don't let it stress you out, it will last all of two days

I think the kids will decide for him. He may have these ideas of them staying on US time but they will naturally adjust.
I wouldn't stay quiet in mornings while there are around and like all kids they will most likely be up and about buggering up all his plans.

I love when parents have these kind of plans for young kids, so funny when the kids shit on it from a great height.

@Bethany1121

Kids are 3, 2 and 5

If its over 2 weeks in the summer, why can't yours have less rigid bedtimes as well?

Depending on age if cousins, a "cousin sleepover", at a compromised time?

Tbh, i don't really see that it directly affects you. If you want your children in bed at 7pm,then own your decision and tell your children tgat YOU want thrn in bed, cousins parents don't! Equally, don't expect that you have to pussyfoot around the cousins after 8am,but don't expect likewise at 7pm....