Unhappy baby = unhappy child??

[Cazzyandthebabe]

Hello! This question is about my baby but I’m really looking for responses/advice from those who are out of the baby phase! My baby boy is 18 weeks old and has been very uncomfortable and miserable pretty much since birth. He has bad reflux and digestive discomfort and nothing has worked for treating it- we’ve had tongue tie snipped, osteopathy, cut dairy, tried gaviscon, Omeprazole... YOU NAME IT! I’m now somewhat resolved to riding it out but I would love to hear from others who have had similar issues with their babies- did you feel this miserable start impacted their personality as a toddler or child? Did anyone have a miserable baby but a delightful child? I’m desperately needing a bit of hope at the moment... just finding it hard to imagine my baby being happy and not in pain but would love to feel like this might be in his future :-( thanks so much!

I had a very angry and distressed baby because of allergies (it later turned out). She is now the most delightful and sunny 11 year old. Hang in there!

Yes... My neighbours child was a horrible baby that moaned a lot, slept little.....she openly says if that was her first child it would have been last. Woman on the edge for first year!
Turns out bored and wanted proper food... So much better when could move about and eat rather than drink milk. Happy active smiley toddler and child....

Reflux is so hard - DD2 had it and was in pain and miserable. Her first few months were really not easy. Please get as much support as you can for sleep and laundry just now and hold on to the thought that it will get better.

Ha ha, dd was a very vocal baby (understatement), she turned in to a happy go lucky child always full of fun and mischief. Still she knows what she wants, when she wants it, I guess that was what showed (she's an adult now).

As an aside we went to a reflexologist with her, cured some of her digestive (wind) problems.

My DD was an absolute horror as a tiny baby. Screamed constantly, never slept, hated the car etc.
She gradually got better and at 4.5 is an absolute delight to everyone. She has the sunniest personality and is literally a light. Hang in there.

My first had tongue tie and reflux. Cried a lot and constantly needed changing after being sick. He was a really needy baby who only slept in my arms and rarely napped in the day. However, he turned into a lovely, sociable, bright and friendly toddler and is now the most pleasant, easy going delightful 10 year old. Hang on in there. I found the baby years with both of mine the hardest and after that each age just got easier and brighter. Xx

DS was not a happy baby. Hated bottles, dummies, sleep, pooing, his belly, naps, nappy changes, me holding him AND sitting down (had to stand up of he'd howl). Everything. Except my boobs.

He was a great kid at nursery school age (despite still not sleeping all night), wonderful in primary (sleeping all night at last !) , adorable and brimming with common sense as a preteen and a teenager, and at 21 has taken over 90% the shopping, housework & cooking.

The kid has been great since he stopped trying to kill us via sore ears and sleep deprivation. But he does still wake us up in the wee hours several time a month sleepwalking into our room and shouting about urgent things that make no sense. 😁

It was all too late to convince me that I wanted a second go around the newborn stage though. Once was enough. I'd bite your hand off for a fully baked 3 year old. But run a mile if you waggled a tiny little baby at me that couldn't hand back.

Dc1 was a very unhappy, miserable baby from birth, never seemed content, slept, cooed just cried or screamed. I suspected reflux but it turned out to be CMPA which was diagnosed at 13 months. He began walking at 10 months and I was reliably told this would cheer him up, but no it didn’t just added to his frustrations. He cheered up a little at around 18 months but was still somewhat unhappy, frustrated etc. At 3 years he finally started sleeping, eating which helped. He is 6.5 now and is mostly a lovely, friendly, kind and thoughtful boy but occasionally he can be very grumpy with a slightly volatile temper. Dc2 and Dc were a dream of blissful chilled babies, Dc4 is like Dc1 and I am just coming out the other side 2 years later. I can honestly say I was so naive, I presumed all babies were cute, lovely and cried a little when hungry 🙈, not screaming little grumps. Honestly if I had known this I would never of had one , hang on in there. It gets better, easier and fun.

Nope! the opposite. DS2 had horrible reflux, would cry non stop for hours / days / weeks /months, Had he been my first, he would have been a singe child!

Now the happiest teenager ever @Cazzyandthebabe he jumps out of bed with a smile on his face, goes to bed happy.

I like to say, he already cried all the tears his body could produce in the first 8 months of his life .

So @Cazzyandthebabe in my experience, absolutely no. I would even go further, his older sister, who was a delight and the happiest baby ever, a true angel, is the grumpiest teenager one could imagine.

My db was a nightmare screaming baby and a bit of a weird toddler but he grew into a lovely boy and is a confident, relaxed adult.

DS was a screaming bag of anger for 9 months - as a pp: hated milk, hated the car, hated sleeping, hated the pushchair, hated slings, terrible colick.

Walked really early = happy child, almost overnight! Total 180°.

Still a giggle covered in skin at 9yo.

Thank you all so much for your responses! They have really given me hope! 😅

My DS is only 10 months but really suffered with reflex, colic, tongue tie, trouble feeding etc etc when he was a little baby. By 5 months everything had improved and he was much happier. He is lovely now and laughs all day (obviously still has he whining moments). I remember having the same worries when he was small.

It's been quite the opposite with my DS. He had tongue tie and silent reflux. He constantly wanted to be held and rocked and comforted. He was a pretty miserable baby in the first few months of life. Things got a little better after 4 months. He's now the most happy go-lucky 3yo. It's like he really appreciates life as he knew of pain and suffering as a newborn!

My daughter was a miserable baby, no known reason. Just always grizzling, discontent and not happy in a pushchair, car, etc.

Around 1 year she started turning a corner. She is 12 now and has a sunny disposition and one of the easiest and laid back, happy kids you could hope to meet hang in there!

Dc1 was a very difficult baby turned out to be a long-term health condition was much happier when it got treated and 17 years later is great company.
Dc2 very unhappy first 6 months then been great ever since (nearly 13 so this may change soon!)
Dc3 was a very placid baby but has got harder as got older.
I really don't think you can predict what they will be like. You've just got to ride the storms at times.

My first baby never stopped crying, colic, reflux, absolute nightmare.

She is a chilled out happy smiling 25 year old now!

My DD was a really unhappy baby. Hated everything except feeding on me. Thinking about those first months still makes me shudder! I definitely thought she would always be miserable. She turned into the sunniest toddler and is just as gorgeous now she’s nine. She loves all the angry, purple-faced photos of herself as a cross baby!

Hang in there, OP!

DS was exactly the same at that age, cried 24/7 and never slept.

He is the most lovely and relaxed teen now. I enjoy his company so much it's hard to explain.

If your baby is miserable it absolutely doesn't not mean that they will turn out miserable.

I had the happiest, easiest baby, I niw have the most horrific teen!

I had the happiest, easiest baby, I niw have the most horrific teen

Sounds a bit like our DD. I can't see her usually without her shouting and a door being slammed. I just hope she gets it out of her system soon.

I think I must have had the most miserable baby of all time. I’ve never come across a more grumpy one. He also had CMP allergy but the behaviour was learnt and he was seriously tough until about 3 with “moments” until he was about 7. He is 18 and honestly the most delightful easy going wonderful young man. He was honestly, a real pleasure 90% of the time from about 4.

Ask your doctor for ranitadine and get advice on weaning early. These two things completely changed my DS overnight. He was a miserable, constantly crying baby for the first four months of his life. Then we got ranitatine and weaned him and he was much happier.

He is 8 now and the early, miserable days are a distant memory. Although they did give me very bad anxiety until my youngest was born 2 years later. I think having an 'easier second baby helped convince me I wasn't a terrible mother and could actually do it!

My DD was unhappy baby, she’s now 5, and does eat and sleep, things we had problems with for a good few years.
She’s a happy girl BUT as a 5yo i can recognise some things- she’s incredibly sensitive, (clothes- she’s can feel every texture, labels and waistbands drive her wild), bright light, can’t have music on she doesn’t actively like, and very scared of pain (cutting her toenails is almost impossible).
She’s also incredibly strong willed, and in a lovely way very dramatic. I wouldn’t change her for the world, but it’s also just who she is.

I think all of that was actually at play when she was a baby and i beat myself up a lot in the first year that she was such a high needs baby- now I look back and realise she was in discomfort and frustrated by being a baby. I also engaged in lots of try to ‘train’ her out of certain behaviours and I wish now I’d been able to get myself more support to cope with them, rather than trying to shift them which never worked and made me feel like a bad mum.

Things will definitely get better, but also your LO is sort of a fully formed personality and really all you can do is accept that? As they age the issues change and get so much easier and counterbalanced by more lovely Things!

My DD has CMPA, spent most of her first few months screaming in pain, it was horrendous. She's 2.5 now and the happiest , chattiest wee thing. She gets a bit tetchy after about 6pm (tiredness) but I can take her anywhere, she'll hold my hand and walk nicely round the shop, loves nursery and has a wave for everyone. I think in total I've only had to fireman lift her when she's had a tantrum maybe 2 or 3 times total, which I think is good going 😅