11 month old wants daddy since mummy returned to work

[4Brown89]

Hi everyone.

This may sound so silly and selfish but I feel so upset.

I have been back at work for 2 days and tonight when I got home my 11 month old son just didn't want to know me. He only wanted his Dad.

To be fair he has been so clingy to me for the last few months so I should be happy for my husband that our son feels so bonded with him but I can't help but feel completely heartbroken that he doesn't want me.

After spending every day with him for nearly the last year and tending to his every need it feels horrible that he doesn't want me. Also makes me feel so guilty that I've returned to work.

Anyone had this? Please tell me its not just me that's being so selfish.

It’s ok to feel emotional but to put intent / labels on small child behaviour can be massively overthinking things

Don’t let your reaction / emotion spiral into something they pick up on

Have a think about where this “doesn’t want me” and “guilt I returned to work” is actually coming from

This is all completely normal, and it will change again very soon.

I have just returned to work and my 13 month old also turned overnight into a daddy obsessed baby. All smiles and giggles for daddy, and grizzles and grumps for me. I chose to think of it as him taking comfort in the continuing stability of his time with Daddy not changing, whereas he felt a bit unsure of me because I was "malfunctioning"!

I've been back at work almost 4 weeks and he seems more secure in our relationship again. He's not settled very well in our intended childcare, but we're taking it slowly and I think things will improve now that he's seeming more secure with me again.

This too shall pass Your baby still loves you, but he's feeling a bit unsure because your relationship is changing a bit. His relationship with Daddy is unchanged, and so the more "sure" thing in his life.

We had phases of this when I went back to work full time at 5.5 months. DH was the stay home parent till DC was nearly 2 and he started part time work. I enjoyed the breaks from doing every bed time for a while after feeling a bit devastated. It's pretty even now. If anything DH gets more of the tantrums! It's tough at the time but it will pass.

@pitterpatterrain

It’s ok to feel emotional but to put intent / labels on small child behaviour can be massively overthinking things

Don’t let your reaction / emotion spiral into something they pick up on

Have a think about where this “doesn’t want me” and “guilt I returned to work” is actually coming from

This is very good advice