why if you only have one child do people constanly ask you whens the next!! its driving me nuts

[robinredbreast]

and if you say well i think i may only want the one, that act as if its some kinda child cruelty !

why cant people accept some people do things differently [no everone one must have at least two kids and preferably a boy and a girl! and usually in the that order as well,oh yeah and they must insist on telling you what an appriorate age age is as well!!}

phew rant over

Drives me insane too. Been ttcing for a year with no luck - had one mc. Have chosen not to tell most people about mc or ttcing and get asked alot about having another one. MIL mentions it every time we see her! One of these days I'm going to turn round and say "so, let me get this straight, you'd like me to have sex with your son more?" She's quite prudish so that would shut her up! Next door neighbour (who I don't know well) also asks at length and really pushes the issue when I see her - hid for months after mc cos was afraid I'd blow up at her.

It just seems to be a universal question...perfectly socially acceptable.
We've been trying for about 2 1/2 years, but I just fudge it if I'm asked - DS is a fair handful, so everyone seems to understand!

I think it's the kind of conversational filler people trot out without actually thinking properly about what they are saying. Came to this conclusion when I heard a friend of mine who has been ttc for seven whole years upsetting another friend by asking her when she was planning the next one... the second friend had had a miscarriage not long before. If even someone who is having infertility treatment can be so insensitive, what hope is there for everyone else? Still drives me mad, though.

Message withdrawn

Yes they do. Even now and DD is 5.5yo. Family were often as bad in the earlier days too. Now I am very honest with them - I'd love a second but at present I can't, my c section has left me unable to concieve, maybe after my next op i may be able to, we will see. Often stops them asking again.

ds was 6 last month and although 38, look much younger so I get it quite a lot - especially being a midwife.

One 'old school 'midwife told me I was selfish only having one until I told he of my PND and hyperemesis.

I love my son dearly and am very sad that the old biological clock is ticking, but I really don't want to go through all that again...

It really saddens me but I just can't do that again!

AND I am happy with one. Just miss him as a baby.

i smile benignly when i am really thinking mind yer beak i have one and that was all we planned so we are happy as a wee threesome no other explanations needed

I have a 2.9 yr old son and recently had a miscarriage (we've been ttc since the summer). People constantly ask when we'll be 'having number two'. It was mildly annoying before I had the m/c, but now I struggle with people constantly asking, to be honest. The other day I even told a perfect stranger I had had a m/c after she told me I 'should be getting a move on with no.2'. I felt really bad afterwards (she looked mortified) but really - I wish people would just stop asking.

I get "are you going to try for a boy then" or "aww would you like a boy?" which is very irritating.

When I was pregnant last time (mc) all I got was "are you happy about it" and "was it a mistake then?" part of the reason I haven't yet divulged this pregnancy.

Don't you know you are only SUPPOSED to have a girl and a boy 2-3 years apart, anything apart from that is just plain weird

agree with all previous posts - isnt it funny having a child makes you public property and strangers feel they can ask v personal questions - blimey i mean asking "are you trying for another one " is really asking "so are you furtling lots with no contraception"