Newborn held all night to sleep

[Csyp]

Hi there, my newborn is a week old and still absolutely refuses to be put down to sleep day or night. I've tried so many things, including using a swaddle, white noise, side settling, waiting until she's in a deep sleep, light sleep, etc. At this point I'm stuck sleeping in a chair holding her all night, and then holding her all day (she hates the carrier too) while chasing after my toddler. My husband works shift work so I'm on my own often, and literally getting zero sleep. Any suggestions? I'm terrified of cosleeping as we have family who lost an infant to SIDS as well.

Any ideas would be appreciated, we can't continue like this.

Hi OP,

I have a 4 week old and totally understand. She wouldn't be put down and I spent the first night sat up holding her but you can't do that for a week it's madness!

It's completely normal for them to want to be close to you and not put down (look up the 4th trimester). I really would reccomend co-sleeping, look up the safer sleep guidelines and follow them.

Are you breastfeeding? That reduces the risk of SIDS and my midwife and health visitor said lota of mums co sleep for those first few weeks and as long as you don't drink or smoke and there's nothing in the bed, you're all good. I have the duvet up to my hips so it's far away from DD then I lie on my side and she slept in the nook of my arm when v small and now she's a bit bigger she just sleeps on her back. I wake up the second she stirs. It took a few nights to feel confident with it but now it's great and I'm trying to slowly transition her to the next2me but she is still tiny.

Good luck xx

Please stop sleeping in a chair with her! That’s really dangerous.

Look up safe co-sleeping and do that with her lying flat on the mattress. Sleeping in a chair is too risky.

Safe cosleeping will be far safer than in a chair.

Have you thought of a cot with the side down next to the bed - we did that to basically make the bed wider so when cosleeping I didnt have to worry about her falling off the bed! And in time I could sometimes roll her into her own space.

You need to stop sleeping in the chair. That is really dangerous.

Hi OP, sleeping in a chair is actually much more dangerous than cosleeping following the safe 7.

I understand you’re worried about it though, this info from UNICEF might help reassure you a bit
www.unicef.org.uk/babyfriendly/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/07/Co-sleeping-and-SIDS-A-Guide-for-Health-Professionals.pdf

It’s so hard having a newborn. I found my baby would sleep much better in the carry cot from the pram at that age (absolutely wouldn’t entertain the cot at all) so that might be worth trying if your pram is safe for overnight sleep?

Does she stop crying as soon as you pick her up? If she's still crying when you hold her she may be suffering from reflux, so I'd suggest seeing your GP but otherwise, as long as she's been fed and changed surely you're just going to have to put her down in her moses basket or carry cot, lie down beside her and wait for her to cry herself out? All babies sleep eventually. My DS suffered from reflux and was always crying whether I held him or not, lots more than a normal baby, but even he would sleep eventually if I just left him to it. Sometimes you have to. You can't hold her all the time.

Have you got a moses basket type thing for her? The smaller the crib she's in, the more secure she might feel? Things I've read before: try warming it with a hot water bottle, cover the sheet with a pillow case that smells like you, Grobags with the poppers done up on the arms (so kind of like a swaddle), I blasted the room with lavender, made sure we were in a warm (appropriately so) room, left a soft light on, white noise, fed to sleep. There's also a lot of different carriers - my sister used a very soft fabric one for one of hers, as opposed to the more sturdy ones for out and about walking. We got on really well with a dummy - helped to settle him so much.
Sending love tho - sleep deprivation is so awful and it must be hard with your partner away and not being able to tag in and out x

Sounds tough! Have you tried car journey or walk in pram? Mine slept soundly in car seat and carry cot afterwards.

I used to feed mine to sleep then put on her tummy in the cot then after say 15 mins turn her onto her back.

Does she spit up a lot, sometimes violently? Could be reflux.

Have you tried putting a towel under the mattress of the crib where her head is? It should help sometimes, as it’s good for reflux.

SIDS isn't genetic so there's no reason to think your baby is at higher risk.

Was your family member cosleeping when their baby died?

Both my girls were the same. Neither suffered with reflux, they simply wouldn’t sleep unless held. We managed to make it to about 7 weeks with my first before we started co-sleeping. Like the previous posters have indicated, it was significantly safer to co-sleep than risk falling asleep holding her.

That's normal at that age. Look at Lullaby Trust guidance on safe co sleeping. There is too much disinformation about co sleeping, it's safe if done properly.

Co-sleeping works great for babies if done safely (sleeping in a chair is not safe!). Please join this group for more support with safe co-sleeping www.facebook.com/groups/1002304623141234, it helped me immensely.

Safe co sleeping doesn't raise the risk of SIDS

www.facebook.com/groups/1002304623141234/?ref=share

OP can you get a cot that has 3 closed sides which clips to your bed , a baby size extension of your bed just for her? She’d be next to you but in her own bit, you can cosleep safely and put your hand on her for reassurance, she’ll hear your breathing and smell you too which may settle her.

Another voice to the chorus. I'd look at safe cosleeping, the chair is more dangerous than a bed. Can your OH take any time off? Can anyone have your toddler for a bit so you can rest?

I had a stretchy wrap for mine and it was a godsend with my second during the day.

Safe cosleeping was the only thing that worked for me. I was lucky that my health visitor was very supportive of it. The only time we got our first asleep in the cot I actually felt very disconnected from her and kept my head in the next to me crib to doze until she woke.

Babies are built to sleep with their mums. They breath match with you whilst you sleep. Babies can get sleep apnoea so there's a strong case for it being safer to cosleep. It's also said to have mental health benefits and also it's just easier. They're up so often at the beginning, if they're already in bed with you it makes it so mu easier.

Obviously you must do what works for you, we're all different. I never planned to cosleep but it felt so right.