Does your 9 year old go out to play with friends alone?

[leefy]

My dd is 9 and recently her friends have been asking if she can play out after school. Some of her friends have been allowed to do this for a couple of years, others are just starting now.

She says she does want to go out to play but up until now she's only ever been to the park etc as a family and even then she doesn't wander off too far alone.

Do your 9 year olds go out with friends? Are you happy to let them at that age?

Where do they go? Just outside the houses probably fine but random roaming around I wouldnt.

Mine doesn't. He's got no common sense and would be under a car within the hour. Will probably start with short bursts next year.
I would let my 10 year old but his friends don't live locally enough.

My 9 year old goes to the park with a friend. No roads to cross and it's a tiny park round the corner from us. He and my younger (7) are also allowed to go to neighbours gardens to play and the neighbours kids come to ours.

Not in my area, if I lived somewhere more rural I would consider it.

Nope. 11 is about the age I’d let ds.

No, I won’t let him. One or two kids here at 9 and 8 seem to be allowed to roam around the whole of our village by themselves. It’s pretty dangerous IMO

I should add I live in an area where all the kids play out from about 5/6 (rural village) so mine are very much in the minority...! My dd was 11 before I let her and my son will be the same. (Dd is 18 now and ds is 9). When my son wants to play in the park with the kids from our street I take a book and a cushion and go and sit in the park with them. I’m the only parent there.

Yes but only with friends on the road. They play outside our houses or in the alleyways behind. I wouldn't let DC roam any further or go to the park (5 mins away) yet.

At that age I played out all the time and also went to the shop alone sometimes too but that was over 20 years ago and probably in a different area to you so only you can decide.

God no.

Yes they are allowed to play in the housing estate.
At 9 they aren't a kick in the bum from secondary surely they need some time to get used to some sort of independence.

Yes. No roads to cross to the park but allowed to go out for a couple of hours and to local sweet shop. Now 10 and moving towards going off to the shops in local ‘village’ suburban centre and the library etc.

Yes, my 8 & 10 y old dc play out on the street with their friends (or they go to play in either their friends' gardens or ours) and have done so for a couple of years now.

Together they can walk to the shop and the eldest can walk to & from school alone too.

No

Yes, if I know where they are going, they have their phone on them and they are back by an agreed time. Usually it's just an hour or so to the basketball courts round the corner. She also cycles to school and back - but it's cycle paths all the way. If we lived in a big city probably not.

My 8 year old does. Again, rural village with great community. I wouldn’t let him where we used to live though

Mine does, he has to wear a watch and check in with me periodically. I'll be honest, I hated it at first but felt it was important to give him some freedom as I was allowed out to play at the same age. It's very much area-dependant, we're in a fairly community-minded "village" (it's a big village!), but the locals watch out for each other, which is nice.

Yes. My 8 year old gets to play out with friends as long as we know where they are, walk to the shop and to friends' houses. We live in a big city. We've built this up gradually over the past year. You've got to start somewhere.

Nope. The eldest was given more freedom to spend time with friends once she started walking home from school at 12. But then at 15 she was brought home in a police car for hanging out where she shouldn't have been so been more restricted again.
I've had to tell off kids that are left to roam the streets before, round these parts they are let out very young and do things that are stupid, unsafe and bloody disrespectful sometimes. Thankfully the younger 4 don't ask to play out with other kids atm anyway.

No. We live in a small town with lots of roads to cross to get to the parks/friends houses/school. She doesn't have a phone and kids around here just don't do it. If we lived in our old house which was a quiet estate with communal grassed areas I would consider it. My eldest only started going out on his own in year 6.

Yes, we are lucky to have a big green area in front of our house. All the neighbouring kids play out from age 6 to teens. They are in sight at all times and not allowed to wander.

None of mine have done this at 9. One of mine made their own way to a weekly activity and back at 10 (approx 1 mile each way with safe road crossings etc), but not just roaming around. I think giving them a bit more freedom by Y6 makes sense to prepare them for secondary school. It does also depend on the individual child, the neighbourhood etc etc.

My 9yo and 7yo will play with friends in the park (friends live at the edge of it) while I walk the dogs there, but they’re never really out of sight unless behind trees etc. I wouldn’t let them play out at home as it’s a busy road, and the park is 10 minutes walk so wouldn’t let them walk there alone. They are occasionally allowed to the corner shop alone (1 road to cross, 2 minutes walk).

I was allowed at that age, but we lived just across from a cul-de-sac. Pre lockdown my now 9 year old was terrified of dogs so I wasn't happy letting her our without an adult. I feel like lockdown has babied them in some ways. We are just getting towards development independence, but there isn't a park close by. My 9 year old is now getting into running errands. I'll send her to the local shop once restrictions lift further, but there is nowhere to play out near here, except for a friend's garden.

My 9yo DD goes out to play in the park with friends. Small village and only our cul de sac to cross. She also goes to the park from her friends house in the local town. It is all quiet residential streets they need to walk on there too. And only 5 minutes walk.