Working full time with children

[Nicky2021]

Hey all.
I don’t know what I hope to gain from this, maybe your opinions or experiences.
I recently split from my husband and so I feel (at least untill I’m set up in a house etc) that I need to work full time for the money. I have been offered a full time job which is amazing, as this will set me on my way to getting a house and car etc.
But I’ve got this aching feeling inside. I have 3 children 11, 9 and 4.
I feel like I will be away from them more than I will be with them. And also, I don’t know where to start with childcare, particularly in the school holidays
Xx

It's the reality of having a full time job that you seem then less during the week. Presumably your elder kids are in school. Does your school have a breakfast/after school club you can use? Does your husband have contact with the kids and if so when? It's not just your responsibility to sort childcare. In the holidays you should ideally split the time between you and there are (without Covid) usually holiday clubs you can use.

Hope you’re okay OP.

Working ft is going to be okay. Try not to stress. You will find a balance, and although you may miss them, you can focus on being present when you’re around.

Logistically, it might be tricky at times. Get as much help as you can. Clubs, cleaner, maybe a nanny if you can afford it. Get organised with dinners. Batch cook etc. Make it easy on yourself. Your older ones can help out too. Give them chores and set homework times etc.

Can you get support from family to help with drop off and pick up? Will your ex have them some days?

My two loved the out of school club during school holidays. They got to play with loads of other kids, went on outings to safari parks etc, had big games of rounders, lots of arts/crafts, water slides. Much more fun than just stuck at home with each other!
Kids are v adaptable, OP. They accept whatever you arrange as their normal.
Don’t fret, just tackle the practicalities. Your DC will appreciate the time they do have with you all the more, rather than take you for granted.
I was widowed when my two were babies, so I raised them alone for virtually their whole childhood, while working as a hospital doctor. They’re in their 30’s now, and we have a good loving relationship. It all works out in the end!

Other thing that can be useful is the unpaid parental leave for childcare that you can take if you in the uk (you can look up on gov.uk) - if you can divide your finances up across the year with some weeks unpaid in the summer that can also help with the holidays

Thankyou everyone for your replies. I really appreciate it and you have all reassured me.
It just all seems so daunting right now but I’m sure, like you all said, it will all work out ok in the end and be fine xx

If your 11 yr old is going in to yr 7. He/she should be ok with a key to go to school and from school on their own. Wraparound care tends to stop in secondary school and so do holiday clubs for that age. My ds school runs and excellent breakfast/afterschool club which ds has attended since year r. He goes attends a holiday club in the holidays, we take annual leave or my mum has him for a couple of days. Your ex dh should be having them in the holidays too