Toddler playing alone

[Eliz87]

Bit long winded but as my little boy is an only child I’m not sure if this is normal behaviour for his age.

My little boy is almost 2.5 and started nursery in March 2 mornings per week. A few weeks ago the nursery staff asked if they could have a chat with me. They said his speech is delayed which was not a surprise because I was also thinking this. They also said that he has displayed the odd sigh of autism where when he gets frustrated he does a little hand twitch. Also that he mainly plays alongside other children and not really with them. Now I haven’t got a clue what is normal for this age at all and whilst I understand they would raise any concerns with me because they want to offer support I wonder if he is too young to be even assessed for autism. I’ve been paying close attention to what he does at home when he gets frustrated and I’ve honestly not seen this hand twitch they told me about.

What they did say was to have his hearing investigated because he has had 2 ear infections quite close together and this could indicate glue ear. They said if he is having trouble hearing this could affect his speech and how he interacts with other children. He does have an appointment tomorrow with the GP for this.

I don’t know if it’s something completely normal for his age or if there is something he needs help with. We’ve obviously all had a pretty crap 12 months and he spent a lot of time with me working from home where he was getting very little interaction with other people. We have no other children in our family so up until March he’s never played with other children.

I suppose I’m just wondering if anyone else’s kids have had anything similar and what did you do to help them?

It's such a tricky age because some completely normal toddler behaviours are exactly the same as some symptoms of Autism.

Have you done the Mchat? It's a standardised 'test' you can fill in which points to how many risk factors there are that your child might be Autistic.

My friend's DS got diagnosed under the age of 3 so it's not too early. She saw a developmental pediatrician through her GP. Her health visitor completely missed the signs which to me were obvious. It was caught because I didn't have the guts to tell her of my suspicions and I encouraged her to send him to nursery. They immediately drew her attention to it.

Not playing with other toddlers isn't a sign alone. Other signs which are commonly seen are lack of pointing, repetitive speech (referred to as echolalia) this is like when you say to them "Say bye bye!" as their Gran leaves and they literally say "Bye Bye" but that's not the only way echolalia shows up...there are other ways too.

Other signs might be sensitivity to noise...shrill or loud...like hand dryers and similar...but again, there needs to be a certain amount of these symptoms and others in order to get diagnosed.

A child might have one or two symptoms and not be autistic. Don't panic and get obsessed is my best advice...just try to enjoy him without scrutiny. But look into it...you might find he's got bad ears or is just speech delayed...

www.autismspeaks.org/screen-your-child Link to Mchat

When I was explaining echolalia, I wrote it wrongly. I meant...when you tell them to say "Bye bye" to their gran they repeat your exact wording...so they say "Say Bye Bye!" rather than "Bye bye"

But it's not the only way echolalia shows up. A child might repeat portions of script from a cartoon they like or an advert...or even a sentence they've heard once from a stranger.

I thought that most children play alongside one another instead of with each other for some time, and they eventually learn how to co-operate and play together. There must be a lot of toddlers who haven't had the chance to mix with others very much over the last year, so it's no wonder some are behind in this respect.

Thank you, I forgot to say I did call the health visitor too and they’re going to send us an appointment for him to be reviewed again. He did have his 2 year review but it was over the phone so there’s only so much you can do really. I know I’m no expert but other than speech delay I didn’t think there was anything wrong. He has had a tough year not interacting with people so I’m not really surprised it’s taking him a long time to settle. Hopefully the GP will be able to do a referral for us tomorrow. Nursery said he probably needs speech therapy. In the few months he’s been at nursery I have noticed his speech making improvements but he’s definitely not where he should be.

Parallel play is normal at this age. Have you had your 2 year check? You should speak to the GP about your concerns and ask for a referral for a hearing test and SaLT.

Parallel play is definitely not ‘normal’ after 2 if your child is going to a professional childcare setting regularly, and especially not with the other symptoms mentioned. Definitely get the referral - early intervention is best.

@Ozanj

Parallel play is definitely not ‘normal’ after 2 if your child is going to a professional childcare setting regularly, and especially not with the other symptoms mentioned. Definitely get the referral - early intervention is best.

I suggest you take that up with Mildred Parton who first suggested the concept who said it happens mostly between the ages of 2 1/2 and 3 1/2 years.

Just wanted to say that we're going through similar - but I've had my concerns over my toddlers speech since before his 2nd birthday, so he's been under the care of a speech therapist for a while now.

His nursery have also flagged concerns, and we're in the process of applying for an EHCP. He's due his first appointment with a paediatrician in June, but it has been a fight to get the appointment. He was referred for audiology 6 months ago, but we are still waiting for an appointment. I guess my only advice is to self refer for speech therapy, and take a look at early intervention techniques - even if it isn't autism, some early intervention strategies can only help with communication & development. It is a bit of a battle to get help, so best to start early. Xxx

Thank you I will definitely push for a referral. We have a GP appointment tomorrow and are currently awaiting the appointment with the health visitor.