DH Shift Work

[GMumma]

Hi all
My DH works shifts and I’m concerned when he comes home in the middle of the night that he’ll wake the baby if she’s in our room. Does anyone have any experience of this and any tips?
I initially wanted to just put DD in her own room to prevent this but Midwives are pushing for her to be in our room for the first 6 months.
Thank you xxx

It entirely depends on the sort of baby you have. I'd actually be more concerned about him waking you because presumably, you'll already be up several times a night and even if your baby sleeps through him getting ready for bed, you may not and you might wish your sleep wasn't so disturbed. Similarly, if he is sleeping at odd hours, he may not want to be disturbed by you and baby waking up a few times a night and in the morning as it's not as easy to be quiet with a baby.

I would see how it goes and I would come up with an option for him to sleep separately (spare room, mattress on floor in nursery, sofa) if it's too disruptive to share a room. Not so much when mine was little, but as a toddler when we were co-sleeping, I would sometimes sleep elsewhere if I needed to get up very early for a flight or to leave for work and didn't want to wake up dh and dc. It was fine, meant we all got more undisturbed sleep.

Have you got a spare room or a mattress that can go in the nursery? Or a sofa bed he could sleep on instead after his shift?

Id much rather follow safe sleep guidelines and have baby in with me, even if that means not sharing a bed for a little while. We've slept separately after both our kids so that DH can get a decent stretch of sleep for work.

Wow, yes DO NOT PUT HER IN HER OWN ROOM UNTIL AFTER 6 MONTHS!!! For SIDS sake!
My DH works shifts and he sleeps in the spare room. If your only spare room is baby's, put a blow up mattress in there for him.

My DH has worked shifts since our eldest was 5 months old, it’s amazing what babies can sleep through (never me eating though )
See how it goes, it may not even be a problem. If you can get a spare bed in another room for just incase he needs to use it then I’d probably do that.

It sounds like this is your first DC. Please read up on what to expect with a newborn, there is no way on earth it could go in it's own room. How will you know it's hungry? Yes you could use a baby monitor but sometimes they just fuss rather than cry for feeding and you may sleep through that if it's muffled through a monitor.

Can't he sleep in another room on those nights instead?

Getting your child back to sleep is easier than bringing them back to life.. as blunt as it sounds the risk of sids far outweighs the risk of your dp waking the child.
Do as the midwives are suggesting, they have years of knowledge and experience.

My DH never came to sleep at the same time as us and used to get up for work at 5am and it was fine; the main thing was that he would get changed in the bathroom or just anywhere that wasn’t our room. If he’d been trying to get ready for bed or work then I’m sure he would have disturbed us but all he’d do is walk in/walk out the room

100% baby needs to be with you.
Spare room, blow up mattress.
How noisy can he be just coming into a room and straight to bed.

Your DH could go into another room, it's what I would do. Either the couch, a spare room or put a single bed in what will be your DDs room. Your DD may sleep through your DH coming home but you won't and you'll be shattered as it is.

Thank you all for your responses! With a bit of rearranging we will have somewhere else for DH to sleep when he’s on shift. Thanks again xx

You might find your baby isn't disturbed. My first would have been but my second sleeps through being moved upstairs and having her nappy changed. If it does disturb them then he could sleep elsewhere like the sofa.