Mental health!

[Becklouise]

Hello. I am a first time mum with a 9 week old girl. Things have been going pretty well for the most part. But 3 days ago I started having panic attacks. I have suffered from panic attacks for years. I have been on and off treatment over the years. Things calmed down for a long time and this is the first time having panic attacks in almost 2 years. Its come on very sudden and very intense happening several time a day/night. The attacks are lasting for around half an hour each time and I often end up hyperventilating and feeling very dizzy/sick. My partner is here to help me as much as he can but he works so he cant be here all the time. I'm not sure how to manage looking after my baby while having such intense panic. I have no idea whats caused this to happen. I dont think it's postnatal depression as the panic isnt about/caused by baby. Im not sure what I'm asking for exactly. I just feel so defeated and down. I'm afraid of failing as a parent I dont want this to get any worse and get in the way of parenting but i feel it will lead to that if I don't get help. I dont want this to affect my girl :( I guess Im wondering if anyone else has been through this? How did you cope? What help did you receive? How can I get out of this before it affects my baby? Am I a bad parent for being this way? I feel so awful :(

Your not a bad parent for feeling this way. I suspect they are probably triggered now by sleep deprivation and maybe hormonal changes. I was prescribed propanol for panic attacks, turned out I wasn’t having panic attacks so perhaps there is something your GP can prescribe.

I was in my most anxious states for 6 months or so after having each of my children. Post baby hormones are wicked. Just letting you know it's not uncommon and you're not alone.
I remember being fine one day, perfectly happy at home, I nipped up the stairs to get some clothes and once I reached the top step I had a full blown panic attack and had to stick my head under the cold tap to ground myself. Nothing brought it on that I was aware of.
Your GP can absolutely help you with this, and will have heard it many times before, you're not a bad parent!
My own coping strategy (I have GAD) is consciously relaxing my shoulders and arms, making them go heavy. Consciously unfurrowing my brow and unclenching my jaw. Forcing myself to breathe slowly - the way I would at rest. I 'trick' my body into believing it's relaxed. It takes a few minutes and a lot of effort when you're at your peak, but it really helps.
I also assign times for myself to panic - eg if I feel panicky at 2pm, I tell myself 'right, if you still feel this way at 3pm you can panic' and by then the feeling dwindles.
Again please speak to your GP! You don't have to face anxiety alone. X