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Original poster

15 month old and his dummy

34 replies

Onthegrapevine · 22/05/2021 18:54

I don’t even know why I introduced the damn thing in the first place.

He seems to have become more attached to it as he’s gotten older. He doesn’t need it all the time but he definitely relies on it for comfort.

This morning I couldn’t find it as we are down to his last 2, so I decided today would be the day I’d get rid. Took him to bed for his morning nap and he cried for 50 minutes straight despite being in my arms. I tried reading to him, signing, stroking him and bringing his soft toys in but he was inconsolable. I eventually gave up & went on the hunt for it, found it, and he was asleep within minutes.

I’ve read that cold turkey is the only way, but I’m curious as to whether we should wait until he understands a bit more & then make a story of it going away? I just feel so awful as he doesn’t understand why I’m not giving him this thing he finds comfort in.

Are dummies even that bad? I read they’re not so great for their teeth but these are baby teeth anyway!

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Checkingout811 · 22/05/2021 18:55

Would he have a bottle of milk to nod off with instead? I have no experience with dummies I’m afraid so I’m not much help but I know this is how my sister got dummies from my nephew.

Aprilwasverywet · 22/05/2021 18:59

If he definitely relies on it for comfort why would you want to deny him that?
Out of sight apart from naps and bed...
Mine binned of their own accord around 3...no teeth or speech issues... And a happy toddler he was!! And slept 12 hours every night...

Original poster

Onthegrapevine · 22/05/2021 18:59

@Checkingout811 We used to do this but he doesn’t have a bottle at night anymore

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Original poster

Onthegrapevine · 22/05/2021 19:00

@Aprilwasverywet Well, this is what I’m asking really. I keep on reading & being told that dummies need to go because they’re bad for their teeth etc

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Soubriquet · 22/05/2021 19:01

Don’t take it away just yet. He obviously relies on it for comfort

If you’re worried about the use, only let him have it for bed time and nap time

Emmacb82 · 22/05/2021 19:07

I did it just before the age of 2. We did cold turkey as he was too young to understand anything else. I felt mean, but he already had an alternative comforter that he also used, and I started relying on the dummy far too much when he got miserable through the day (it was supposed to be just for sleeping). Anyway, I cut all the dummies up as I knew I would give in otherwise and it was 2 nights of prolonged crying, and it was like he had never had one. He actually slept much better as he didn’t wake multiple times in the night looking for one!

LemonLemonLemon · 22/05/2021 19:08

15m old here too. I was having this conversation with DH because I can’t decide when to give it up. In the morning and after naps we make a game of dropping it in the cot, so it’s only for sleep. I’m too attached to sleep to let it go at the moment!

MissOrganisedMe · 22/05/2021 19:11

@Aprilwasverywet

If he definitely relies on it for comfort why would you want to deny him that? Out of sight apart from naps and bed... Mine binned of their own accord around 3...no teeth or speech issues... And a happy toddler he was!! And slept 12 hours every night...

Same for us too.....apart from the sleep. Still working on that 💤

muchtoocold · 22/05/2021 19:11

I took it away gradually, so only at nap and bedtimes from about 18 months old. Got taken away completely by Father Christmas at about 2.5 years old. Didn't have any issues with wanting them back.

muchtoocold · 22/05/2021 19:12

Once they were only for sleep time they were only kept in the bedroom so couldn't 'accidentally' find one.

999Alex · 22/05/2021 19:20

I'd wait he's still just a baby. I think it would be harder than than say in another year or so.

My now 4yr old absolutely loved the dummy and as she got older I hated it. She wanted it all the time and wld try and talk to me through it. I was hoping to get rid of it before second baby was born but didn't think we would manage. We'd just got her out of nappies at 26 months so that was a win win and then in her own big girl bed before baby sister arrived.

One night we were going to bed and she didn't ask for it until we got to bed I just said oh no ur too big for it now little baby needs it somewhere else now. She whinged a bit and it took about an hour for her to go sleep but that was it 😮 Kept reiterating the next day it was gone when she asked for it. That was it bye bye dummy she was 2yrs and 4/5 months.

I've now got 18 month old and she has her dummy so much more than her sister did. If she doesn't have her dummy she often tries to bite so it's like dummy to stop the biting 🙈 I doubt I'll have it her off as quickly as my first. I aim to get rid of it by 3 but hopefully before. Once she's stopped teething and biting phase has gone it will only be for bed and naps.

SBAM · 22/05/2021 19:20

My eldest had hers taken away for her third birthday, we repeatedly told her beforehand that when she was 3 she’d be too big, and it was fine.
We’ll aim to do the same with DC2, who’s almost 18 months. He still has it during the day for now as he’s still suffering with reflux and it seems to help him, though I’m planning to drop it to naps/bedtime only once the reflux is gone.

NameChange74567 · 22/05/2021 19:29

If he needs it for comfort to get to sleep then I would leave him with it just now. But would only give him it when he is going to sleep. Dd1 took a dummy and was nearly 4 before she was off it completely. From about 3 onwards she wanted it all the time. I used to have to ask her to take it out so I could understand what she was saying. Her teeth top teeth really stuck out, but corrected themselves when we took the dummy away.

CoalCraft · 22/05/2021 19:37

I remember having one so must have been three or four before it was gone and it didn't screw up my teeth!

I'd let him have it for the time being, at least until he's old enough to understand it going.

Twizbe · 22/05/2021 19:56

I let my son have it until nearly 3. By 18 months or so we were just using it for sleep times.

Then we did the dummy fairy which worked AMAZINGLY. He never batted an eyelid about not having it after that

Cotswoldmama · 22/05/2021 20:11

My son had his until he was nearly 3, at Christmas I told him if we found all if his dummies and wrapped them up father Christmas would give them to all the newborn babies and he would get an extra present at Christmas, this worked well hd only asked about his dummy once or twice after and I reminded him about the babies and his big boy present and all was fine. His teeth are fine.

Original poster

Onthegrapevine · 22/05/2021 21:28

Thanks all. No harm in leaving things he then!

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Original poster

Onthegrapevine · 22/05/2021 21:28

be**

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Letsallscreamatthesistene · 22/05/2021 21:33

OP im with you here except my son is 14 month old. He has it for sleep and it works really well, but also has it for comfort in the day. It narks me a bit, but it works so well. I think im going to let him keep it until he old enough to talk to about it.

Aprilwasverywet · 23/05/2021 21:06

Imagine your most loved and adored person taking away your comfort... Pretty bloody cruel imo!!

edgeware · 23/05/2021 21:13

I think you need to remember there is a distinction between having the dummy all day long - that would probably harm teeth and speech. A bit at nap/sleep time - probably not.

SheilaTubman · 23/05/2021 21:14

I'm anti dummy but.....my DC had it until they were 4 . Their sleep was just so awful, I couldn't bear another thing to cause problems. The whole reason we'd introduced it was a desperate attempt to get child to sleep better.

In the last 18 months they had it, it stayed at home and then only for nap times etc. Cut down gradually.

Age 9 now, never stop talking, good teeth etc.

I sucked my thumb until I was 9 so I'm probably not the best person to comment

Flowerclock · 23/05/2021 21:18

Both of mine had the dummy until 3 years old. But after a year, it was for sleep time only. They got left in the cot when they woke up and did not get removed.

NotBot · 23/05/2021 23:11

I hated dummies before DD1. She had it until she was 3 😂 the dummy fairy came & all good. Sleep was a bit rough for a month, I won’t lie but then fine. Her teeth are s’ok according to the dentist 🤷🏼‍♀️

I think dummies are fine used at sleep time. It’s not going to affect speech etc if they don’t have them during the time they are awake! DD2 (14 months) has hers far more than DD1 to be honest but still only sleep time & when in the car/sometimes the shops. DD2 HATES the car.. it’s really tricky! The dummy helps.. second baby, whatever works 😅

AyyX · 24/05/2021 16:37

Mine is almost 18months and she is addicted to it too. She will moan for it in the day even though she doesn’t need it..
Planning to get rid of it before or when she turns 2. Don’t know how I’m going to do it 😬

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