how does your H help with baby?

[bunhead34]

Please tell me how your DH helps/helped with your little baby? (5 weeks old and exclusively breastfed for reference!)
Particularly in regard to sleep and the night time....

Thanks!

At that age, he helped with every feed by doing all of the nappy changes (my baby pooed every time he ate in those days) and sitting up with me while I fed him, then burping him. He would also take him for an early walk so I could catch up on sleep.

Now that he’s back at work (and the baby doesn’t need night time nappy changes) he tries to sleep through the night feeds but takes over early in the morning so I can sleep if needed.

He is in all respects an equal parent - he does his fair share and more in the time he isn’t at work.

Most recent baby, at 5 weeks he was looking after the baby full time as I was at work. At night I’d do all the feeds (breastfed) and we’d try to take it in shifts so he’d have the early - about 9pm to 2am and I’d do the late - about 2-6.30am (I’m an owl and he’s a lark, but I was also studying so needed the evening time whilst he was sleeping to study).

Annoyingly we’d all be up by 6.30am because of work and school runs, I’d much have preferred lie ins! I had extra pumping duties to do so did get some time to sit around, but would usually feed the baby and pump at the same time. After a few weeks of getting the hang of doing both I was able to do this whilst mobile which was useful so I could be doing breakfast etc. Some days if I didn’t have enough stored milk I’d take the baby with me to work and he’d get a day ‘off’ but he’d still need to do the housework and older dcs. And I’d need to work and take care of the baby which was fine at 5 weeks but it was harder by the mobile stage.

Housework, preparing food, running baths, looking after me in general

DH waking in the night to help did not work at all for us (he was totally willing to, but as she'd need feeding it would end up with both of us awake rather than just me so both of us exhausted in the day) so instead we worked out a time he could take DD in the day so I could nap.

'Helps' with his own child. Surely it's just what does he do for the baby?

I'm being a bit pedantic I know - in a shitty mood this evening- but it's like Dads 'babysitting' while Mum goes out. No - he's looking after his kids!

Oh, and at that point he was doing the cooking, clearing up the kitchen and the washing. I've gradually taken over most of this as DD's sleep has improved, though he still clears the kitchen after dinner while I do bedtime.

At that age, all housework, cooking and laundry. Would take baby out in sling for a walk about 6am so I could sleep a bit before the day, then bring me breakfast and coffee in bed.

While he was in paternity leave (5 weeks) he looked after me (including having alarms and a spreadsheet for my meds) dog all the house work and all nappy changes. He got up when I did and if she didn't settle after a feed, we took it in turns with settling her.

After he went back to work, I had to have firm words to stop him getting up every time in the night, as there was no point in is both being broken. But I normally handed over to him at about 5 so that I could get a bit of sleep. He arranged to work from home 1-2 days a week and continued to do all nappy changes if he was in the building. (She's 2 and he still does that.) She never took a bottle but, despite the breastfeeding, I think he generally does more than me. He's amazing.

I eventually took over the coming because I enjoy it. But there's nothing that says you have to.

@JemimaMoon

'Helps' with his own child. Surely it's just what does he do for the baby?

I'm being a bit pedantic I know - in a shitty mood this evening- but it's like Dads 'babysitting' while Mum goes out. No - he's looking after his kids!

I fully agree! I said in an earlier post. I worded the thread badly, it's hard to get out of that mindset when so many people subscribe to it!

Fortunately DH isn't one of the people who would call it 'babysitting'!

He did a lot (and still does at 2years old) burped, changed, held, rocked to sleep when I couldnt settle him sometimes for hours, played, held. From 10 months he took over the whole bed bath bottle (from 1) routine and still does now. He has basically been a stay at home dad for the last year because of furlough/redundancy, doesnt begrudge me for going out for a few hours to see friends, does all the night wakes and co sleeps when I go in the spare room when I'm working. Let me nap during the day and would give a bottle of expressed if DS was hungry, although I appreciate not all bf babies take bottles.
But yeah the early days when I co slept and ebf hearing him snoring through some the night feeds still made me want to chuck him out the bedroom window (dp not ds 😂)