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Insensitive comments

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Vivian9898 · 22/05/2021 12:25

Hello all, I took the opportunity with restrictions being lifted to take my DS swimming . He had a great time playing in the pool then afterwards when I got him showered and changed a young women said to us " isn't he too old to be wearing pull ups" I was shocked, how could you say that with him right infront. How can I make sure he doesn't feel like there is something wrong with him?

Many thanks Viv

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CoffeeandCakeEqualsLove · 22/05/2021 12:27

I mean, unnecessary for anyone to make comments. None of their business. But out of curiosity, how old is your DS? Could you use it as an opportunity to start potty training, if he's at an age he'd understand the comments?

PotteringAlong · 22/05/2021 12:32

I’m assuming that if he’s old enough to understand the comments and is still wearing pull ups for swimming then he has some level of additional needs and therefore you might be better posting on the AEN boards.

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Vivian9898 · 22/05/2021 12:33

He just turned 7, the doctor just sadly diagnosed him with a form stress incontinence. It is getting better but we find it's best for him to wear them to keep him dry

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legalseagull · 22/05/2021 12:41

What a bitch. If I saw you my immediate thought would be SEN and physical difficulties. Ignore the ignorant cow and explain to your son that there's nothing wrong and lots of adults too suffer with incontinence.

MilduraS · 22/05/2021 12:49

It's really none of her business. I'd assume there are additional needs but actually, my DH had told me he wet the bed regularly and had occasional accidents until he was 9 so I should probably know better. He had stress incontinence and grew out of it with some bladder training guidance from his GP. He hasn't had any problems at all since he was a child.

CoffeeandCakeEqualsLove · 22/05/2021 12:53

Oh well she was just a bitch then. At that age of course there's something else going on. Just ignore and tell your son that its none of her business.

Happycat1212 · 22/05/2021 12:56

Oh that’s so rude, my mum was saying the other day how she saw a lady with a child on the bus who was about 4 and could see the child was wearing a nappy and she said “now that’s a lazy parent!” People are so judgemental

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Vivian9898 · 22/05/2021 12:56

He's still young enough to use the ladies with me so we always shower and get changed without any problems. Just very surprised to hear that because he's so innocent at that age don't want him developing any insecurities around the issue

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Cornishsky · 22/05/2021 13:20

Very out of order! My DS was in nappies to 4 and we got looks and judgements, including “advice” from relatives and strangers. It’s very inappropriate. He had no SEN but had moved from birth family to foster placements then us during the time he’d normally have been toilet trained. We did it when he was settled with us and ready and ignored the “shoulda” and “oughts”! I found “that ladies opinion is none of our business” to little one shut them up!

Howshouldibehave · 22/05/2021 13:27

@Vivian9898

He's still young enough to use the ladies with me so we always shower and get changed without any problems. Just very surprised to hear that because he's so innocent at that age don't want him developing any insecurities around the issue
If he is 7 and wearing pull ups-I would imagine he is already aware this is unusual-presuming he is at a mainstream school.

I would use this as a starting point for a discussion on how some people are rude and point things out that have nothing to do with them

PotteringAlong · 22/05/2021 13:27

It probably is worth giving some thought though to what his response will be for when he’s doing school swimming lessons. His friends will notice if he’s wearing pull ups and they will notice if he gets changed separately to them.

LittleRa · 22/05/2021 13:28

It doesn’t really matter how old he is, he could be 7 months, 7 years, 17, 27 or 107.... it is extremely rude of a stranger to comment out loud like that. Absolutely none of her business. The old adage “if you can’t say anything kind, don’t say anything at all” applied here.
What was she hoping you’d say? “Oh thank you, I hadn’t realised, now that you’ve pointed it out I’ll whip it straight off him”. Ignorant woman.
Hope you and your DS are ok.

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Vivian9898 · 22/05/2021 13:44

I just don't want him to be embrassed by it, plenty of girls have been in there before and have seen me showering and changing him and has never been a problem. Why can't everyone just be kind to one another

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PastaLaVistaBBY · 22/05/2021 18:29

She was a rude bitch. Next time say ‘aren’t you a little old to have such poor manners’ (or just give the witch the finger and turn away)

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Vivian9898 · 24/05/2021 11:27

Just so rude, never even seen her before

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