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Help please I feel like I'm going to implode!!

4 replies

loopyapp · 22/05/2021 09:12

Ok I need to preface this by saying I know I've handled this badly today. That's why I'm here.

Also he has epilepsy and Arnold chiari malformation which can and does have a factor on his level of contenance. He is 6 years old (Feb)

However. Even with the limited warning he gets that he needs to poo he will still often ignore that in preference for whatever he is doing.

He doesn't do this at school to any where near the same degree at home which makes me sure there's an element of deliberate action and intent.

This means he soils himself sometimes just a smear, others fully to a pretty regular degree. This week daily.

I normally manage it by calmly explaining that he must listen to his body and insist he shower every time in hope that the inconvenience of showering will override the annoyance of stopping his activity to go to the loo.

This morning he has done it again. I noticed he was squirming and told him to go to the toilet and instead hes ignored me and had a relatively small accident.

One could argue I should have taken him myself but hes one if 4 and not the youngest or the only one with a disability - I really need him to learn some independence.

I really got cross today. Gave him a stern talking to about it being lazy and unfair. He was a little upset and seemed more repentant than usual. (Normally unfased or unembarrassed)

I KNOW being cross isn't going to help but I am cross. He would rather poo in his pants than down the toys and go to the toilet and I just don't know how to tackle that.

Any advice would be awesome.

Thanks

OP posts:
MamaEs · 22/05/2021 09:19

A reward chart?

loopyapp · 22/05/2021 11:26

@MamaEs

A reward chart?
We have talked about that this morning and currently designing one. Fingers crossed it works
OP posts:
MamaEs · 22/05/2021 14:55

Good luck!

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NuffSaidSam · 22/05/2021 22:48

I would also say a reward chart is the way to go. Try positive instead of negative reinforcement.

I would also say, you need him to experience the pleasure of succeeding and getting a reward. So, when you first start the reward chart, help him out. When you know he needs to go, insist he goes/take him. Then he can go in the toilet, get a star on his chart and loads of praise from you and hopefully that will encourage him to go again next time.

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