potty training - she's working up into a state (sorry v. long)

[mummytummy]

We started DD1s potty training a few weeks ago, and all went well, then one day she had a poo accidentally on the carpet and DH told her not to poo on the carpet because its dirty. Since then, she's been scared to poo. Two nights ago, she was in the bath and she started getting hysterical crying "wee wee" so I put her on the toilet and she screamed "no, bath", so I put her in the bath and a poo popped out, so I quickly put her on the potty and another came out and she pointed crying "dirty". She didn't go yesterday (usually she's every day), and today she is holding on to it and every time she puts her hand to her bottom because its hurting, it smells of poo. I've put a nappy on her but she doesn't like weeing in a nappy now, and she's confused about if its a wee or a poo. I read a thread yesterday saying bear hug them onto the potty, which I have done, but she was besides herself, and I was scared I'd put her off using the potty completely. Any advice?

How old is your dd?

She's 2yrs 6mnths. Nap time has been terrible because she finally had a poo in a nappy and she was very upset. When I went in she was lying face down with her bum in the air and crying hysterically.

I think you need to try and make her realise that poo isn't dirty - perhaps your dh could tell her that he made a mistake and that poo isn't dirty, just something that needs to be put in the right place, not on the floor. It's usually advised not to show disgust or make any negative comments about poo at all, just praise her to the heavens if she puts it in the right place, and sympathise with her if she doesn't ("never mind, it was an accident, perhaps you'll get it in the potty next time").

Thanks Wigwambam, we have been trying this. She had a poo in the bath again tonight. I think she may be having that 'poo is part of me that I'm losing' worry! She also had a wee on the dining chair tonight. She sometimes does in the evening because she is tired and forgets to use the potty, but now I'm panicking that because I held her on the potty, she's now scared of weeing there too!! WHAT HAVE I DONE TO MY BABY!!!

Whatever you do, try not too make an issue out of it. I'm inclined to agree with WigWam's suggestion. It's also a priority to make sure that she doesn't hold the poo in and/or get constipated so make sure she gets a high fibre diet and lots of fluids. If she becomes constipated then she will be justified in holding it in.

I was thinking that perhaps you should just forget the potty training for a bit but if she's upset about pooing in the nappy then you can't really do that. Does she have a preference between the potty and the loo? If the potty has become an issue then why not sit her on the loo instead if she is willing. I would not force her either way. You could also play games where teddy sits on the potty to increase her familiarity with it. Try to get her to sit on the loo or potty before her bath if that is a time of day when she is likely to poo. You could also get her to blow on a whistle to relax her pelvic floor.

You could always back right off the whole subject, buy a couple of funny books about poo to lighten up the issue - The Mole Who Knew It Was None of His Business is very funny in my childish opinion - and agree with WWB, tell her poo isn't dirty, let her look at it. Appear interested!