Bad morning with childminder - anything I can do???

[RudyDudy]

My DS (12mths) has a childminder who comes to our house every wed morning to look after him and a 3 year old whilst I'm out. Just got in and CM said he'd been really distressed all morning and just wanted to be held which is really out of character. She thinks it's because he's got a blocked nose but he's had that for days and it's not bothered him. She's been looking after him for 5 weeks now and to start with it was great and he didn't react at all until now...

Is it just an age thing that I have to ride out or this anything practical that I can do?

Sorry this is a bit long but any advice welcomed.

Thanks xxx

Could he be coming down with something? How is he now with you?

He's asleep - hence I'm here

he was ill about 10 days ago but since the weekend has been loads better, lots of energy, eating properly again so I really don't think he's getting worse. Am also a little concerned as I feel CM is a little "calpol" happy iykwim - though I don't really think the occasional extra dose will do much harm.

tbh am a little upset about it and not sure I'm thinking straight...

I am a cm and I have to get permission from the parent before giving a dose of CALPOL.

This is to make sure that the child doesn't get 2 doses and then I write it down in the book.

Is this not the same with her?

How was he when she arrived this morning was he happy to see her?

Who is the 3 year old? Is it hers?

What happened when you came home? Was he happy or clingy to you?

Hi KM

When she started she asked how I felt about Calpol and I said that I was happy for her to give it when she felt necessary. I guess the problem is if I'm not here I have to rely on her judgement and I think that it might be different from mine.

He seemed fine when I left this morning - no different from usual - playing with his toys and not really noticing me leave. The 3 year old is not hers but she has looked after him since birth (she was his maternity nurse).

I haven't seen him yet but I can hear him waking up from his nap and he's making happy noises.

I hope it doesn't sound like I'm blaming the CM as I really like her and don't think (would be surprised) if she were doing anything 'wrong'.

do you think he could be teething?

How does the 3 year old react to him?

He could have just had an off day I guess hopefully he will be better this afternoon.

Hope it is ok next week he could have just been tired.

Had he eaten lunch?

sorry that is really bad punctuation

Am in his room with him now and he has woken from his nap in a fab mood - all smiles and crawling around his cot. But he does look really (more so than normal ) pleased to see me. Could it be that he's beginning to realise that I'm leaving him? If so, is there anything I can do to reassure him or do I have to wait for it to pass?

btw - the 3 year old is really sweet and from what i've seen plays really nicely with him.

oh, and she said he ate well both breakfast and lunch (but there's very little that will put him off his food!)

At the riskof buttingin, is your childminder a registered childminder, if so she should get you to sign her medication book for all medicines and take a permission slip to do so in the future.If sheisn't registered, she is not a childminder, but a childcarer, sorry to split hairs but the term childminder is used wrongly too often and gives childminding a bad name.

Sometimes children settle quickly and then all of a sudden realise this is going to be an on going thing and get upset about it. One morning a week is also quite difficult for a child if they have not been used to it from an early age, (JMI as an experienced childminder)

I am glad that he is happy now

What happens if you leave him with a friend?

Perhaps leave him with a friend for a short time before next week.

He could have the separation thing that happens sometimes from around 9 months, how is he is you move away from where he is playing ie so he can't see you?

If so then it is just a stage and he will grow out of it. IMHO

Great news that 3 year old is good with him.

I agree with alibubbles about registration and medicine book.

alibubbles - sorry if I got the name wrong, didn't realise there was a difference but didn't mean to cause offence

KM - he does sometimes cry when I leave the room and he can't see me so he is definitely more anxious than he used to be. Also been wondering if it's something to do with it's the only time he is looked after with another child. On a Thurs & Fri we have a carer who looks after him on his own and there have never been problems there so it will be interesting to see how he is tomorrow.

Am thinking perhaps I over-reacted a little and worried too much as it is the first time he's been like this with anyone. I just hope I'm not turning into a neurotic mother

Thanks for the support.

No offence taken at all, just wanted to clarify what type of childcare you were talking about. I have actually just come back from a meeting where, by conincidence this was a great topic of discussion tonight.

It makes a difference betweem whata registered childminder may or may not do and what guidelines have to be followed, ie The National Standards.

If he is anxious or upset when you go out of sight that is normal for his age and so will just pass.

IIRC it is because his brain can't understand that you still excist when he can't see or hear your voice.

As he gets older he will understand that just because you are not in the room you still are there IYSWIM.

It is like if you put a favourite toy in a cupboard he doesn't realise it is still there but soon he will learn that it is and will go to get it.

It is just a stage and is normal IMHO anyway.

So he will realise that just because you leave the house you still exist and that you will return.

Thanks KM - you've been very reassuring and I really appreciate the support. Where would we all be without MN?

thats ok please let us know how he is in future.