Extreme fussy eating

[Alicia870]

My 2.5 yr old is beyond fussy and always has been even since a baby, and I just feel so lost and such a failure I don't know what to do.

She will eat fruit like berries, yoghurts (but a particular type) coco pops, mashed potatoes with peas and sweetcorn mixed in, some plain pizzas (depends on the type), chips. That's pretty much it.

No meat and no other veg :( I always try to grate in either some chicken or white fish into her potatoes as she can't see it. No other cereals, no bread, no beans, no fish fingers nothing.

But she won't even tough a chicken nugget or a sausage or anything. I know these aren't great foods but for a child that won't even touch meat I'd prefer if she did eat these.
Her tantrums over food are becoming unbearable and hideous! She used to eat pasta but refuses and has a meltdown now when we offer it. I just feel like she is the worst eater ever and don't know how to fix it. Have started really cutting out snacks and offering dinner and WHEN it's refused (because it always is), try to avoid giving other options afterwards. I just don't know what to do. If I could just pay super nanny to come and fix this I would. So desperate!

I'm afraid I don't have much advice but coming to offer my solidarity as my boy about the same age, is the same. It's very hard to see him not eat meat, fish or any vegetables apart from peas. I think about it a lot and hope he just magically grows out of it.

All I know is what I have been told -family style dinners where he helps himself as much as possible. No bribes, arguments, forcing. We provide the food it's up to him if he wants to eat. Limit snacking. I am sure you are already doing these.

Hoping someone comes along to tell us they will grow out of it one day!

It is frustrating but it may be best to stop trying for a bit. I remember being told 'it is the parents' job to present healthy food, it is the child's job to decide whether or not to eat it'.

Don't try to get her to eat sausages or nuggets - these are very unhealthy and really are not worth having in anyone's diet.

The best way to encourage them to try things is just to have as much variety as possible for her to PLAY WITH not to eat at this age. There is loads of good advice about this but you have to relinquish all control and stop trying to encourage, persuade, entice, tempt etc.

If you look at your list of things your child will eat at present it includes carbs, protein and veg/fruit. I think that is not too bad. Get her checked by a doctor if you have any worries and then try to research how to get them to engage with food without any pressure to eat it. At only 2.5 you have time to turn this around.

Things to do include:

• grow your own fruit and veg
• visit pick your own
• look in food shops and cafe windows
• watch cookery programmes
• bake together
• you eat things you like a lot in front of her

We had a very fussy phase with one of ours and saw a thing where you fill an ice cube tray with lots of different things and leave it out on the table, they can try any of them any time, that worked quite well. When they finish one section you don;t refill, you hope they will try a different section.

Honestly we tried it all, no pressure, play with food, just touch/lick it, grow then wat it etc etc etc.
Hes 5 now and I give him his meal and I tell him what veg etc to eat, always 1 main item he likes the rest he has to eat some. It's not the 'correct' way but hes eating carrots, peas, chicken, ham, pasta. In my head this will gradually become his norm so he will not have to be told..... ours is also sensory linked so he likes crunch not like sauces or 'slime'!
Good luck!

I have a 2 year old too and also going through a very difficult stage with food. At least I hope it’s a stage!! He does eat a bit more variety I think than what you describe but I frequently feel like I’ve failed him and am on the edge of tears at dinner time. We can’t always eat dinner together due to working late/commitments but I’m now making an effort to have 2/3 nights a week where we do. I try and do a plate where he has 2 things I know he will eat eg tonight was sweetcorn and blueberries (I do offer fruit with mains sometimes) and lasagne. He didn’t eat the lasagne! So don’t force leave it there but there was nothing else when he was asking for snacks. Think I’m going to limit snacks again too. He used to eat bowls of pasta chilli curry etc and now won’t. It’s so hard!

It's actually really really normal to be food phobic at this age.
Just keep offering safe food most of the time and new things occasionally. Take them away without fuss if not eaten, praise for trying.
Keep meals and snacks small.
I would try to keep food simple and plain. Maybe try things like bread sticks, rice/corn cakes, pitta bread, little cubes of cheese, plain cold sweetcorn, couple of pretzels.
My DD didn't like the texture of meat and didn't eat it until she was maybe 12 or 13 years old. She has never liked sloppy or mixed up food and still prefers things by themselves.
Have you tried peanut butter or soft cheese? You can get enough protein from non meat sources although a little fish is great if she'll eat it.
If she likes yogurt would she try smoothies or some fruit puree alongside the yogurt?
Basically try not to stress. If she's a healthy weight that's a good start. Most children do grow out of this but it can take a while.