Brastfeeding

[Newmum29]

I’m struggling to read my 6 week old baby’s cues and am defaulting to feeding her when she’s fussy or cries.

My husband is getting really frustrated when I snap at him. As he does one bottle feed a day, I feel all the weight is on me and I’m very sensitive if he says she’s crying because she’s hungry.

It feels like I’m feeding her all the time (which is exhausting) and she’s never really hungry enough to do a proper feed so we end up with cluster feeding/comfort sucking.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to let her cry it out between feeds but she’s not napping properly either in the day and I know she’s grumpy and exhausted as a result.

I would love 3 hours between feeds but sometimes we get at best 30 mins before she wants me again.

It’s not just early afternoon and evening either. It’s hard to get her to take a nap in the morning or at lunchtime because she just wants to feed.

I’ve tried the sling, walking her in the pram, taking her for a drive and everything else. She’s distracted for that period but still wants to feed the second you stop the motion.

Oh OP, you sound fed up! You've had excellent advice here. This is a big growth spurt, and eventually the evening cluster feeds will pay off with some longer stretches at night. Letting a little off before will help, as will leaning back instead of over to feed - basic gravity 😂

She won't overfeed. If the milk isn't required, they just comfort suck without really pulling. The vom is absolutely muscle related. Unless it's diet related in which case it would be much more often.

Babies don't read the book. If rocking is a rod, you're fecked, as they've spent 9 months being rocked by your every move. No one is still feeding teens to sleep - it's all just a natural progression according to each child's needs. At this stage, I'd suggest chucking all your ideas about routine, cues and spoiling newborns out of the window. Basically everything is a cue, they don't really do anything else. Your lovely baby is putting in her orders and cementing some physiological bonds with you - don't stress so much!

The thing to remember is that in a few weeks, your supply will settle and she will start going longer. At that point, you can leave the house with spare nappies and wipes in your pocket, and never worry about facilities. The boob will be medicine, comfort and love in one easy access package that you can't leave behind, you'll never need to sterilise anything and it doesn't cost £20 a week.

Thanks everyone. I think I’m worried as this fast let down seems to be something that doesn’t correct itself when supply issues calm down. It’s not al just at the start of the feed, it’s throughout which is so frustrating for both of us as she’s choking and I’m just getting milk all over both of us.

The mornings and evenings are also so exhausting that even when my husband takes her for her bottle feed around 10 I can’t rest because I know for that 12 hour period I’m going to be up through the night every hour or so and I’m miserable. I want to transition to formula but keep being told to just hold on for another 2/4/6 weeks. It’s taking away being able to enjoy her.

Please Google the reverse pressure technique. This may help with the fast letdown. Or hand express into a Muslin for a few minutes before putting baby on.
I did both.

If you want to stop BF, do not listen to others opinions. They aren't the ones feeling like you do, they aren't the ones doing it.
It's so hard x

Your wants and needs matter: pay attention to them! You’re allowed to formula feed (and I say that as someone who never gave formula and demand fed to age 3 - we’re all different and we’re allowed to do what works best)

So your doctor and psychologist are putting pressure on you about the 3hr gaps, and your partner is putting pressure on you about a routine - both totally unrealistic things at this age. They are the problem, not your baby or your parenting

It’s true that it does get easier in the next 2/4/6 weeks. But also it’s your body and your decision. If you want to start transitioning to formula, do that. Give a few more bottles of formula a day and see how that makes you feel. You can do mixed feeding (breast and formula), there’s no shame in that.

It sounds like there’s too much pressure on you from all angles, which is stopping you enjoying your baby.

There is a lot of pressure but I think it’s well meaning ie. I’m struggling with my own health and people are making suggestions on how to relieve that. First and most obvious is improve my sleep by not exclusively breastfeeding.

OP, this is an unusual one, but it might be worth a try.

My DH learned to latch a baby. So on the really bad nights when I was shattered, I carried on dozing whilst he latched the baby onto me, then watched over us both until it was time to settle the baby again.

It meant he got to share the night feeds, but no one had to get up to prepare a bottle.

Obviously I was a bit aware of what was going on, but even being half asleep as opposed to fully awake made a huge difference.

Op, you've had some great advice here. But actually, it really does sound like you don't want to breast feed any longer. If that's the case then stop! There's nothing wrong with formula and you have to do what's best for you. Or have you looked into combi feeding if you want to do a mixture?

A happy mum = a happy baby at the end of the day.

Thanks again for the replies. Yes we’re trying combi feeding but very slowly transitioning. She’s fine with a bottle at 10pm ish but when we introduced a second one in the day she often possets at the next breast feed.

I think we just need to be careful with the amount as the formula seems to be well tolerated and hubby is much better than me at burping her. I can’t really picture doing more at this stage because my default is still feeding her when she cries and that means I think she’s getting too much milk.

Any advice on how to transition with as little disruption to her would be very welcome.