Upset over friendship issues

[lollipoprainbow]

How far should/do you get involved with friendship issues ?! My dd is nearly 9 and started a new school last year just before lockdown so didn't get much chance to make any new friendships. She has started to now but girls can be really horrible. There is one girl who sends some really manipulating text messages, one minute she says my dd is her BFF but if my dd doesn't immediately answer the message she tells her she's not her BFF and don't ever call me again. This girl has two other 'bff's' who she invited for a play date last week and who delighted jn talking about it jn front of my dd who wasn't invited. My dd made another friend but this girl has badmouthed my dd to her and she doesn't want to be her friend now. Reading back it all sounds so petty but it's upsetting my dd and me to be honest! I'd love to wade in and tell this girl how horrible she is being but that would make things worse. Arghhh girls !!!!!!!

You need to speak to the school about bullying. Exclusion is bullying.

School can help her forge new better friendships.

@RandomMess I have they don't see it as a problem because apparently it's all fine in school

Speak to the school. 9 is very young to have a mobile phone, that won’t help the matter sadly.

@Poorlykitten it's my old phone, I was reluctant but during lockdown it helped her keep in touch with a couple of old school friends, everyone has one it seems jn her class.

If it’s all good in school you need to drop the outside school contact unless it’s a play date.

Will help your DDs mental health no end

Could you show the messages to the teacher?

@BluebellsGreenbells My dd doesn't always want to talk outside of school to this girl, then she sends messages saying 'you hate me don't you' making my dd feel awful.

I always think the phones bring bullying in to the home, sometimes the only safe place sadly. That’s why I held off with my two. I would speak to school again and express your concerns. It’s not good that they are not taking it seriously.

when my Ds was in primary He had a close friend (girl) . Whenever she got fed up with the girls and the drama or spite she would join in and play with the boys whether football or tag or just talking. It did help that she was able to get along with the boys very well and had a couple of good friends including my ds. Obviously bullying has to be dealt with but I think the way forward is to help your daughter develop-interests that may help her develop more meaningful friendships as she gets older in particular seniors where I assume it will be worse.