to be annoyed with non parents and parents who have older or grown up kids

[notgoingtoapologiseanymore]

in definitely not judging everyone who has no kids or grown up kids. just noticed a pattern as a mum to 3 young ones. most judgement cast upon me is from either people with no kids (men and women) apparently they are the experts on parenting. also people who have grown up or older kids and forgotten what its really like to have little kids and look at the past through rose coloured glasses and forget they weren't a perfect parent

What are they judging you about?

It's a bit of a generalisation, I think. Not all people without young children are judgmental, and some parents of young children can be extremely judgmental.

Nobody's a perfect parent, all we can do is our best. Who is judging you and for what?

I have grown up DC in their 20s and I don't ever judge younger mothers with small children. I've been there myself with three little ones and I remember what it's like.

Feel free to ignore people with no children, they don't have a clue what it's like.

Be confident in your own parenting and don't listen to anyone else's opinion. I'm quite sure you are doing your best, just as we all do with small children

I've actually had the most judgement from parents with easy babies. Most of the people who don't have kids seem to give me the benefit of the doubt when I tell them how hard I'm finding things.

What sort of judgements are we talking about here?

the one with grown up kids apparently sleep deprivation didn't affect her so therefore no woman with young kids is allowed to find parenting difficult apparently. and the one without kids told me that crying infront of a baby is emotional abuse apparently. and being told by someone with 2 school age kids how early her kids slept through the night at 6 weeks and 3 months. also was told by a childless man that looking after kids is easy and women that try to have a life after kids are bad mothers apparently. and judgement and unwanted advice from older women who im sure were perfect mothers. not. and told by a childless couple that giving your kids up for adoption isn't difficult

Opinions are like arseholes, everyone has one and like arseholes those ones stink.

Well the man is just a sexist twat so that's not parenting advice, it's just blatant misogyny.

The parent whose kids slept through may come across as smug to you but she's just discussing her experiences. My youngest slept through from birth, so what? I'm allowed to tell people that.

You would be better off taking things with a pinch of salt and just doing things your way. Apart from the misogynistic prick, get him told.

My advice would be to ignore those who judge you despite not really understanding your situation. Easier said than done I know. I remember when my first child was small I had child-free friends who thought they had all the answers and made comments about how they would manage things to make sure their lives were not 'taken over' by demands of a family (usually comments made when I complained about lack of sleep/said I couldn't go out due to childcare/needed to change plans to fit round the DC etc). A few years later these friends all started to have children and were amazed that actually babies don't read the manuals and DO take over your life.

Bit of a generalisation, OP!
Here on MN I’ve often given advice to struggling mums (I’m a retired doctor with DC in their 30’s) - I’ve never been judgmental, just suggested ways to help that I’ve found useful myself in the past. I was widowed when mine were babies, so I am well aware of how tough it can be.

Why do you give a flying F what they say?

I wouldn't

@notgoingtoapologiseanymore

in definitely not judging everyone who has no kids or grown up kids. just noticed a pattern as a mum to 3 young ones. most judgement cast upon me is from either people with no kids (men and women) apparently they are the experts on parenting. also people who have grown up or older kids and forgotten what its really like to have little kids and look at the past through rose coloured glasses and forget they weren't a perfect parent

You do seem to be judging everyone based on your experience of individuals.