Does anyone else get cross when parenting "experts" give you unrealistic and patronising advice?

[TuttiFrutti]

OK, maybe that's a rhetorical question, but I need some moral support here - or maybe just another perspective.

I took ds aged 2.5 to a speech therapist yesterday. His speech is a bit unclear but nothing outrageously backward for a 2 year old boy. Anyway, the speech therapist, who was a middle-aged woman who I would bet money doesn't have any children herself, told me I am doing a lot of things wrong and (a) am not giving him a varied enough diet (I really try but he's a very fussy eater), (b) should cut down his TV viewing to one hour a day (so goodbye mumsnet), (c)ought to set aside 2 days a week when I just sit on the floor with him playing and (d) ought to let him help me with all household jobs like emptying the dishwasher.

I can see that on paper all these things would be great for him, BUT firstly I also have a 9 month old baby and lots of housework and cooking to do, and secondly why can these professionals never give us mothers a bit of praise? It's really hard bringing up a boisterous 2 year old boy and a baby, I think I do an OK job - so why does nobody ever acknowledge that??!

What a daft woman. What has any of it got to do with her, anyway? OK, I suspect it was all a way of saying 'spend some more time with him so his speech improves' but jeez, she didn't have to do you a minute by minute breakdown of the therapist-approved way to spend your day.

They have forgotton what '2' is like. They are getting it mixed up with '5'. My son's (rather staid middle aged) SALT told me I should be sitting down playing games with him every day.
1, she could see my 4 month old baby in my arms, 2, she could see ds1 physically climbing the walls after being made to sit down and still for 4 minutes at the age of 3.4.

He really was climbing the walls. Really, and nobody who hasn't seen him do it believes me.

She also told him to use the word "Yellow" in a sentence. He replied ".....Can I have the bricks now?" I replied - "He is three. He doesn't know what a sentence is yet, because he doesn't go to school."

She replied "Hmm." with face. WTF?

So .... are you anywhere in the East Midlands, by any chance?

Agree it can be hard work with 2 little ones

I agree with points a) and d) that the speech therapist made tbh but not sure how a varied diet could be a factor in your ds's speech development. Two whole days playing seems a bit excessive as well (but I'm not a ST so it's my uneducated view).

Have you heard of a book called 'Babytalk'? It's very interesting and has lots of ideas to help parents and children.

It is best to play with them to get them to talk. IF they will sit and play games that include talking. It IS best to include them in household chores. IF they can be safe and your other children can be safe while it happens. I'm sure you are GIVING him a varied diet - whether he EATS it is another matter. TV - Well, do swtitch it off and tip a box of toys out instead. When your little one is a bit older they will play together more.

It doesn't sound like very realistic advice from the SALT. The only connection I can think of with diet is that presumably you could possibly strengthen muscles by chewing different types of food but even that seems a bit far-fetched.

My two boys needed/need SALT as part of their SN and never once did the SALT say that I should be setting aside two days a week. If anything I would have thought that little bits at a time would be far more effective, even if you only had one child. The TV can be useful for helping speech develop IMHO. I would have thought that the idea was for parents to comment on the jobs they did around the house, eg "Let's put the white clothes into the machine next" (or something equally boring), rather than encourage the child to actually do them.

It doesn't sound as though the SALT has much personal experience of actually living with children.

He probably could help with some things. DS likes to put laundry in the washing machine, sometimes puts spoons away and likes using a dustpan and brush to sweep the floor, for example. He also eats stuff he's "cooked" himself that he wouldn't eat if he hadn't been involved with the preparation. So I can see where she's coming from with some of that, although she's being a bit prescriptive.

Are you planning to take up his free nursery place when he turns three? To be honest that may help his speech along quite a bit by itself.

Thanks everyone, I feel better already for reading your replies!

Mercy - the point about the varied diet is to include different textures, especially hard and crunchy ones, so that ds's jaw muscles get more exercise. In theory, this will improve his speech. In practice, as Colditz has guessed, I give him lots of healthy foods but he doesn't choose to eat much of them.

Colditz - loved your story, and I like your point about the SALT confusing 2 with 5.

I have tried letting ds "help" me with some household tasks, but it means they never get finished and in fact more work is created, because ds will, eg throw all the cutlery from the clean dishwasher onto the floor, run away with bits of laundry and push them into the cat's bowl.

Lemonaid - yes, ds has just started nursery 2 mornings a week, which is utter bliss. Now I just have to deal with the rest of the week...