Adoption - your thoughts.....

[zephyrcat]

Hi everyone. Have just been watching gmtv and they're doing a big adoption thing and showing lots of children that need adopting etc. I have 2 children, one is nearly 3 the other is 4 months. I have a nagging feeling in my head to have another but really dont want another pregnancy/caesarean etc as the last one was really hard. I would seriously consider adoption as an option. Has anyone done it or been adopted? What are the good and bad points? Is it harder for an adopted child in a family with the parents biological children?

Thanks for that KristinaM. I guess it didnt sound it as I meant when I said I would prefer it to childbirth - I didn't mean it as an alternative or easier option - just that I would love to have 3 or 4 children but dont think I could do it physically again. I would also wait at least 3 years from now, so ds would be 3 and dd would be 6. I was interested to know about the ages thing though, that's something I didnt know about, but would hopefully not be too much of an issue once my 2 are a little older. I would prefer to go in the birth order as you say they may prefer you to do, although any child needing a family is the main consideration

Albert - when you are settled in a country you need to approach an adoption agency in the country where you live who also work in the country you want to adopt from. You need to get all sort of paperwork and approvals from your country of residence plus all the approvals that are required by the country you are adopting from .
So if you live in Switzerland, you will need to fulfill all the requirement of the Swiss authorities so that you adopted son or daughter gets entry clearance to come and live in Switzerland with you.
Then you need to meet the requirements of adopting in Brazil.
Then when your child comes home you need to sort out the matter of citizenship. If you ever want to come back to live in the Uk, you need to be aware that the Uk authorities do not recognise adoption orders granted in may other countries (known as non designated countries). This would not matter if your child had lived with you for 2 years.

ZC - sorry if i sounded harsh you sound like a very caring person.

Sadly, adoption in the Uk is a bit of a market place, with lots of childless couples chasing a very few small white healthy babies. Most children needing adoption are school age and are in sibling groups or have special needs. Many waiting childen are black or mixed race and the policy is to only place them with black families.

So you are in a difficult situation as they MAY only consider you for an older (schoolage) child while at the same time saying that child has to be younger than your own.

There are many, many children out there who need a family and its very hard to negotiate the system and find a child whose needs you can meet and will fit into your family

It is something I would love to do, but without Dhs backing I wouldn't force the issue. I wouldn't expect him to just do it for me. I'll enjoy looking at all the cute kids for now

same here, if dp doesnt like the idea then issue closed!! It's nice to think about it tho....