To be worried about having second baby so close

[quiteqwerty]

Our first baby who is 9 months old was planned and very wanted; I just found out I am 3 months pregnant (!) and although unplanned is also very wanted - I feel very blessed to even have one at all with early menopause and other issues.
Just feeling worried about how we will not just cope but thrive on just about everything at involves having siblings so close in age - any advice or practical hacks really appreciated!

14 month gap between my middle two and it's fine. They aren't amazingly close as teens as they have very different interests but they do look out for one another.

@Wishingwell75 I've just started taking extra vitamins on your advice
I'm hoping my second will be more chill than my first at least in the sleep department.

The birth - omg I am freaking out about a potential accidental home birth - labour for my first lasted 3.5 hours..

"a vontous and forceps or plunger and salad tongs as the doctor hilariously joked with DH!"
I had the 'plunger' too
Sometimes you have to find the funny side

@RandomMess Aw bless. As long as they like each other despite any differences I would be happy

Thanks, also additional plus is not having to buy anything and getting sleepless nights over with sooner 🙌🏽

I had a planned 11 month gap between my first 2, then dc3 was born 12 months (almost to the day) later. It's totally manageable

Wow congratulations !

We have 2 boys who are in 10 1/2 months apart. I conceived again 6 weeks postpartum. In all honestly it was super hard in terms of having 2 immobile babies in the beginning but I suppose it's no different to twins. We had/have amazing grandparental support.I love them dearly and they are so different in terms of personalities. My top tip would be sleep when you can and if they nap together amazing but it didn't always work out like that.

It's been a massive bonus in terms of hand me down clothes and now they are broadly the same size can share and they swap especially at nursery when needing clean pants etc....

As much as I would utterly dread having a 4 year old and starting again, I don't know any different. They play mostly well and share (ish) similar toys.

They are in nursery together atm until the eldest goes to reception in September. I'm pleased about this as they will have different friend groups etc..

When I went back to work I was known to new people as "this is....., u know the lady I told you about" having 2 babies so close. Just had to laugh.
Fortunately no major body issues following back to back pregnancies I was lucky. Know it's not the same for everyone especially if c section is needed.

For the vast majority of time they are fab!! Good luck !

I have 16 months between my two who are now 6 months and 22 months. I was very anxious like you about how I would cope, especially in the middle of a pandemic. My first baby was challenging and I was expecting the worst, but it's been so much better than expected and DD2 is the most chilled, content baby! Some points below...

• DD1 really was too young to understand what was going on so there was no jealousy. She seemed quite indifferent to the baby and carried on as normal. She's starting to be a bit more interested as DD2 gets older. I'd advise giving a lot of attention to your eldest when the baby comes along. My poor newborn was kept alive, plonked in her bouncer, while DD1 had lots of fussing!
• I found the first couple of month's tough being sleep deprived, but I think that's the case with most newborns and any age gaps. I'm lucky that both mine slept through from 3 months and were in their own rooms from 4 months so sleep has not been a problem and it might not be for you either.
• My greatest achievement in life was getting their afternoon nap in sync . 1.5 hours of calm! DD1 is starting to drop her nap now but I occasionally get 45 mins or so.
• From about 4.5 month's the afternoon/evening/bedtime routine was totally in sync which makes life so much simpler.
• Keep DC1 in childcare for some days if you can. The early days are tough and it means they'll have a chance to round around, play and have some routine. My excuse at first for this was a c section, then lockdown. Then I just realised that it's great for her and me and the new baby. Plus keeps her spot for when I go back to work.

For me the age mine are at now is becoming a lot easier. They eat meals together, nap together, have the same nighttime routine and bed time. So it doesn't feel such a juggling act. I still haven't mastered taking them both out on my own though! I just do an activity with one of them and the other is with my mum, CM or DH! If I take them both out I need another adult, I'm in awe of the mum's who can master 2 under 2 outside the house...maybe one day!

Good luck, you'll be fine. And if you're anything like me it will be a relief to get the baby years done and dusted!

@YouCantBeSadHoldingACupcake I'm really hoping it will be the same case for us. At the moment struggling with having enough energy being pregnant and looking after LO.. I'm sure will just have to find a way

@bluebellinthewood Gosh yes I was thinking of starting a new job (my previous contract ended before I became pregnant first time) but now there seems no point applying until after.. I may also be known as 'that' lady if I applied and worked for a couple of months only to disappear right?

How sweet both of yours are in the same nursery.

It sounds like having twins with one of them having a slightly more advanced skillset

@Lostmyway86
Thanks for all the additional useful tips!

"My greatest achievement in life was getting their afternoon nap in sync"

I think you need a medal for this

@quiteqwerty
It never offended me tbh, was mostly said in jest. I'm quite proud of what I have done raising them. Please don't worry. Always fun to raise a few eyebrows when chatting to a grandma in the park tho!

My mother who is sadly not with us had my 3 brothers, born 1962,63 and 65 and her husband left her when they were all small so I have great admiration for what she went through with my 3 half brothers in a time where financial support was next to nonexistent.

Everything will be alright you'll fall into a rhythm ! You can do this