Bonding after C section

[Bobbins32]

Hi everyone
First time posting. Due second baby in few weeks and have decided on planned c section. After an emergency section with baby number one I didn’t feel the “rush of love” in fact it took quite some time for me to feel it (which I now do, in abundance). Would love to know if any of you who have had a c section felt the rush of love instantly or if this is something that’s generally absent with sections due to lack of hormonal input from natural delivery?
Thanks in advance for any replies.

I think there's a lot of writing and talk about the magical rush of love but I'd argue that lots, if not most, women don't feel it. Certainly seemed the case amongst the Mums I know.

Even the most straight forward birth is traumatic in some way and it's odd to assume that our minds/bodies suddenly forget all of that.

I’ve had two emcs and didn’t feel this way sorry, it was instant for me.

I had a planned c section with my second baby (with my first it was more of a slow burn over the first few days) but with my second baby that moment they lowered the drapes amd I saw him counts as one of the mosy special moments of my life and I felt more of a rush compared to my first and it was a very bonding moment between me, DH and our baby.
I’m still not sure I’d say it was magical rush though as I definitely felt more rushes of love at other times when I was home having sleepy newborn cuddles with him.
I think because I was calm and not stressed and exhausted I could focus more on what was happening compared to an emergency section

I don’t think it’s a section thing. It’s a sometimes you do, sometimes you don’t kind of thing that’s been made into some huge magical moment.

If it doesn’t happen it will come later.

Yep, with both babies (both births planned CS). With DC1 it was slightly more slow burn but with DC2 it was the full on, sobbing, obsessive rush of love. Both breastfed without issue too.

I had a surge of relief when my daughter was born after a horrible pregnancy. I was just so glad she was here and alive. The love part was there but I'd a couple of big surges along the way (The night before we left the hospital when it was just me and her and I knew I was taking her home and when we got home)

Not with either of mine, first disastrous lengthy induction & ventouse, second planned cs. I found it took a few months to develop in both cases and assume that’s just how i’m built.

Didn’t worry me either time - i knew it would come, and now of course i think they’re both the best thing since chocolate

My first was born by emergency csection and I felt exactly the same. I think the ‘rush of love’ is a bit of a myth and just with everything going on, ‘straightforward’ birth or not, people just feel how they feel and whatever that is it’s ok. My baby was in the NICU for a short while after birth and I didn’t hold her until she was 6 hours old as well so I was really worried about bonding, but she is 4 now and I feel like we have a lovely relationship. Breastfeeding helped but even if formula fed I think we’d have been ok.

I’m aiming for VBAC for my second but it could very well end up another csection. I think just accept that however you feel it’s ok and it will be ok, as you’ve proved with your first. ☺️

Xx

Planned section after a traumatic first delivery - instant rush of love the second I heard her first cry. First baby took a while for that love to come so it was a relief it was the exact opposite for my second. Planned section was great btw, felt very healing after my first experience.

I was pretty horrified by being presented with my baby after the section!
But we bonded in a lovely steady way and I was perfectly able to care for her and feed her. I was pretty besotted after a couple of weeks.

I didn't get the rush of love with my first (vaginal birth) so just assumed I wouldn't get it with my second too (planned c-section & spent months prior irrationally worrying about how it would affect bonding) with number 2 though I did. Planned sections are very calm and civilised so I wonder if in some way it was more conducive to getting that rush of love feeling than a more stressful situation.

I had 2 c sections and 3 vaginal births. I felt the rush of love and feelings of euphoria with the vaginal births but not with the c-sections (1 elective and 1 emergency). It took me a while to feel like this but for some people the birth of their child is a really happy time and for some it's a necessary thing you have to go through so you can be a parent. Neither feeling is wrong. Giving birth to my youngest was one of the worst days of my life and giving birth to my 3rd was one of the best. It's ok to feel like that and I've had lots of good days with my youngest since then.

I had a planned c section for my second and although I wouldn't call it a rush of love, the feeling came much faster than after my first which was a traumatic natural birth. Everything was much better with the planned c section and I felt I had time to fall in love with my little bundle.

I've had 1 vaginal birth and 1 CS. I felt the "rush of love" more intensely after the CS. I think the drugs may have had something to do with that.

I used to be the recovery nurse waking C-section patients up after general anaesthetics, and also caring for them after spinal/epidurals. There are different rates at which people recover from what is a fairly major operation (hence the recovery time/no lifting/stay in hospital rules) but almost always you hand over the baby and it's exactly the same look on the mother's face as any other birth.

After emergency C-sections there can be a moment where the mother just has a WTF just happened moment - the same as any other emergency loss-of-control situations in medicine. In elective ones, where things are calmer, the parents are more involved - with the baby handed straight onto the mother above the drapes where possible. You can discuss your wishes a bit more (but like with all birth plans allow for flexibility).

I had a non-traumatic birth with DD1 but she was slightly prem and on a brutal BF protocol for 72 hours. I think it was day 2 before I had that rush of love thing. Until then I loved her and was doing everything I could to keep her well and safe but that 'OMG I luffs this so much' thing? Not instant but that's never mattered one jot.

It was instant for me when our twins were delivered by elective cesarean, they were breech and transverse. I'd had 3 vb's prior to them and the bonding was no different.
They handed the 1st one to me but the second to my husband and all I could think was "give me my baby", I had them both once moved out of surgery though.

@elfycat I remember this exactly, just like, what the fuck!? After my EMSC.
DS was rushed off to neonatal as he was prem and really poorly and I was just lying paralysed.
DH had no idea where to go (in fact I think I just shouted at him to go with the baby)
Then I was given toast. It was so surreal.
As soon as I was able I was wheeled round to see him.
I felt the love a few days later when I was allowed to hold him. Until then I was in a daze.
Madness!!!

I had an emergency with my 1st and like you I didn't experience that rush of love, it took a good few months before I did. Prior to that I felt I was just going through the motions really. With my second (7 years after my 1st)it was a planned c-section and was completely different. I did feel that rush of love that people talk about as soon as he was shown to me, which shocked me as I was pretty blase all the way through my pregnancy!

My first was a planned section and I didn’t feel a rush of love at all - I didn’t feel anything for about 2-3 days.

My second was an emergency section and I got that rush of love from the moment I heard him cry when they pulled him out. I was infatuated immediately.

From my experience of planned sections - ask for skin to skin contact as soon as the baby is born.

I had a long labour with DD1 and got to 9cm and then had an EMCS and I didn’t feel that rush of love. I don’t think I developed that bond until much later. I found wearing a sling to really help. I had skin to skin with DD1 but not DD2 who was VBAC.

I had a planned section with my first (and I’m having a second section next Friday with DS2!); no I didn’t feel a rush of love, but I think that was more to do with me than the way he was delivered. I was very fond of him and felt extremely protective, but it was only about a week later than I thought “wow I really love him.” I was never worried I wasn’t bonding though, we just took some time to get to know each other. Good luck x

I had elective csection with last baby and did get rush of love we did skin to skin as soon as we could and he was there the whole time I was in recovery so oxytocin was flowing. I can imagine in an emergency situation how you may not have felt it with the stress and worry you were going through.

I had emergency csec and didn’t feel that rush - I was able to care for her and look after her well from day one but i didn’t have that rush and I do wonder if it was because of the csec/traumatic birth as I couldn’t do skin to skin - I wasn’t even the first to hold her or feed or change her as I was shaking so much from all the drugs. I was so consumed with being relieved both her and I were ok I was in a bit of a bubble, possibly had a bit of ptsd and pnd - i still don’t feel like she’s mine! I know she is and she’s a real mummy’s girl and I love her but it doesn’t really feel real (and she’s nearly a year lol)

I felt an instant rush of emotion (love but also terror, overwhelm, excitement, anxiety) when my son was placed beside me after my c-section. Then had a massive PPH which interfered slightly.

Don’t worry if it’s not instant - that’s common for a lot of women, regardless of how they birth. As you know from your first it will come