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Nightmare toddler - help

6 replies

apmlee · 12/05/2021 13:24

I’m on maternity leave with baby number 2 who is 3 months. Before this my son who is 2.5 was with my MIL everyday and I worked long hours so I was essentially a weekend mum. We had struggled with behaviour issues on the weekends, things like extreme tantrums etc and not listening and chalked this up to inconsistencies in how he was parented by grandma v how he was parented by us and had hoped behaviour would settle out once he was with me full time. It’s now three months in and there are big tantrums every day, biting, kicking, smacking and shouting. I have tried to be consistent, to not shout, to try talking about feelings to help him deal with the emotions and we use naughty step/ time out for the hitting. However this is now starting to effect life outside the house, I had started taking him to some toddler groups which he hasn’t done before as MIL didn’t take him anywhere but his behaviour is so bad at the groups that we largely spend the session sat out and today he kicked me in the face whilst trying to put shoes on and then lay on the floor screaming on public transport. I am at the end of my tether quite frankly. I don’t want to tied to the house and unable to leave for fear of his behaviour in public but I don’t see any other option at this point. Does anyone have any recommendations or words of hope that this will not last? Has anyone else had a similar issue??

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Knittedfairies · 12/05/2021 13:30

Your toddler has had a huge upheaval in his life as he used to spend most of his waking hours with grandma, and now he has to share you with a new sibling.How does he behave when your MIL is around?

Stressedtoddlermum · 12/05/2021 13:31

Can you afford to start nursery a couple of days? If he isn’t already, your funding should kick in fairly soon anyway so might be worth trying to make a start?

I say that, as my DD really needs nursery and it helps her behaviour/ routine massively.

It sounds like you’re doing all the right things, it’s such a hard age and it must also be very difficult with all the changes going on and the new baby. Flowers. DD went through a bad phase a few months ago (she’s 3 in July), but things are getting better now. I just remind myself it’s normal 2 year old behaviour, it will pass and try to stay as calm as possible!

yomommasmomma · 12/05/2021 13:41

Working full time and using childcare does not make you a weekend mum Angry honestly, what is with this type of accusatory language??

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CoffeeDay · 12/05/2021 14:19

I think because all toddlers are simply nightmares?! DD is 2.5 and has been with me every day since birth, especially due to lockdown. She's going through a phase where everything is impossible. Even the most basic errands in public is a nightmare because she'll throw tantrums, grab things off the shelves, scream etc. I'm constantly apologising to strangers for her behaviour or grabbing my card to buy useless crap that might keep her quiet for a while. We're just gritting out teeth and waiting for this phase to pass.

The activities that she does like are playgrounds, sand pits and outdoorsy stuff so that's what we do all day long. I don't even bother signing her up to any classes right now because it's so hard getting her to and from places punctually if she's in one of her moods.

CoffeeDay · 12/05/2021 14:37

I think because all toddlers are simply nightmares?! DD is 2.5 and has been with me every day since birth, especially due to lockdown. She's going through a phase where everything is impossible. Even the most basic errands in public is a nightmare because she'll throw tantrums, grab things off the shelves, scream etc. I'm constantly apologising to strangers for her behaviour or grabbing my card to buy useless crap that might keep her quiet for a while. We're just gritting out teeth and waiting for this phase to pass.

The activities that she does like are playgrounds, sand pits and outdoorsy stuff so that's what we do all day long. I don't even bother signing her up to any classes right now because it's so hard getting her to and from places punctually if she's in one of her moods.

apmlee · 12/05/2021 15:09

... didn’t mean to offend anyone else and also don’t find it accusatory. I was a ‘weekend mum’ because I was gone for work by 8 am and not back until gone 7.30 pm. It’s what we needed to do at the time because I was the person we relied on to pay the mortgage etc but I have to appreciate it wasn’t the best for my young child to not see me much and only really spend quality time with me on the weekend

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