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Toddler poos at night just after going to bed and then won't go back to sleep ... help!

6 replies

rainbowcakes · 12/05/2021 09:37

Would be very grateful for any advice!

DD is 2 next week. We will put her down to sleep in the evening about 7, but she is still awake 45 mins to an hour later. Not crying, just awake. I end up going in to see her and she will have had a poo, hence not going to sleep. I change her, but then she is not tired at all and just won't go back down. We end up having to keep her up for a bit longer playing. Then about 45 mins or so later, we try again and she will go to sleep.

This only used to happen occasionally. However, over the last few weeks this has happened every. single. evening (bar maybe one or two nights). Because she just will not go back to sleep after being changed, it means we are barely having an evening at all.

It occurred to me yesterday that she now probably knows that if she poos after she's been put down, she knows she will be able to get back up again & play for a bit longer, so she probably 'saves' it until bedtime. Yesterday, she actually had a poo just before bath time and we thought great, she will definitely sleep! Nope, same thing happened again.

We decided to change her, then let her quietly read a couple of books and putting her back down within 10-15 mins. No playing with toys. As soon as I shut the bedroom door, she started wailing. I left her to it for a little while. She ended up wailing and banging intermittently. I didnt go in to see her, as she wasnt properly crying, just having a bit of a whinge.

Well - an hour later, she is still awake and starts really crying. So I go straight up there to see her. Try to lie her back down and she ends up hysterical. So I just felt I had no choice to let her play for a while, then putting her back down, then she went to sleep fine.

The irony is that if I had just let her play in the first place, she would have gone back down much sooner, and it would have been a lot less stressful. She ended up going to sleep just after 10.

We've tried a later bedtime, capping naps, longer naps, but nothing seems to work. She has one lunchtime nap, ranging between 1-2 hours. Going back in at intervals just seems to 'reset' everything & she gets more upset. There's no way she would go back to sleep if I stayed in the room with her.

How can I deal with this? She sleeps through once shes asleep (which I am grateful for), but this is really starting to grate now!

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rainbowcakes · 13/05/2021 20:15

Hopeful bump as same again tonight!

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mayblossominapril · 13/05/2021 20:19

Do you bath her before bed? No judgement if you don’t because I don’t! But I did find ds pooed fairly soon after a warm bath, in fact for quite awhile he poked in the bath!

KitchenWarrior · 13/05/2021 20:20

Ds dropped his nap entirely just after he turned 2. Have you tried that? I really miss naptime but the extra stress at bedtime wasn't worth it.

2.5 now, had an accidental car nap yesterday and was up till 10 - day before no nap and flat out at 8.

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Bluebelltulip · 13/05/2021 20:47

My DD did this for a little while after she discovered she could hold her poo in. I think relaxing to go to sleep meant she couldn't hold it any longer. The novelty of holding it until bedtime wore off and she ended up using the toilet for poo before she was ready for wee's.

QueenAdreena · 13/05/2021 20:52

My DD did this. We had to do two things to stop it - stop her napping and shift her mealtimes. She started having her main hot meal at lunch and then just had a lighter tea. She started pooing late afternoon or just after her bath once we did that.

rainbowcakes · 13/05/2021 21:02

Thanks everyone!

Im not certain she's ready to drop her nap yet, as she always asks to go for a nap & shes always tired around lunchtime. But I have been wondering if this is a sign she may be able to drop it soon.

Yes she has a bath & bottle every night, then a couple of stories before bed.

She did actually go to sleep straight away at 7pm last night but thats most likely because of being awake until gone 10pm the night before Grin it was absolute heaven to have an undisturbed evening!

I'll definitely look into swapping her hot meal to lunchtime instead.

I've just put her back down again so hopefully wont be long until she drops off!

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