Staying out late at night with 7 month old and disrupting sleep

[merrynelly]

Pre Covid we would do a weekly dinner at my parents house. They are in our support bubble and I have thought about beginning this again. We tend to leave around 11pm and our baby goes to sleep at 7pm. We have a crib there so he can sleep there from 7pm until 11pm, but I feel awful at the thought of waking him up and putting him in the car seat with his sleepbag on (is this even safe) and then disrupting him again when we put him into the crib at home. Is this a terrible thing to do or just something you do when you have a baby and are out late at night?

You can get sleeping bags with slots that car seat straps pass through. I think it’s absolutely fine!

I’m of the view that babies, especially little ones, need to adapt to your life. You shouldn’t change everything around them (obviously you have to change a lot, but it doesn’t have to be everything) So I’d still go.

Toddlers are more challenging but it if you make it a routine now it will be easier. I’ve refused to be a slave to the nap and sleep routine, if I have stuff to do I do it.

On a practical note there are car seat safe sleeping bags, they have slots for the straps.

Fine as a one off. Selfish to do it weekly

Live your life and let the baby fit around that ( to a reasonable extent). We have friends who would come for dinner and bring a travel cot for their baby to sleep in. Once they’re toddlers it obviously becomes a different issue. Don’t be the people who are chained to the house because their child will only sleep at home.

could your parents come to you?

I don’t think it’s selfish to do it weekly; you’re not keeping him up and if you get a travel gro bag he can stay in it in the car and with any luck he won’t wake up. On a longer term basis you may find it easier to just have them to your house though.

We did it all the time when our now grown kids were babies /toddlers and children.As we were the first of our group of friends to have kids we were often invited to theirs the evening .We used to just bring blankets and lay them on the floor in the nearest quiet room . They went to sleep maybe a little later than usual but still slept.At my PIL's that had a bed as soon as I stopped breastfeeding at 9-11 months and if it was too late /too cold we would leave them sleep there overnight and pick them up in the morning. They never had problems being somewhere else at night with out us not around even though I was a SAHM.

We’ve done this with DS (5 months) and it worked fine. First time we were at my in-laws and he was asleep in his pram about half 8 in their living room. We left at about 11, he didn’t wake transferring into the car seat. Then once we got home we put him in his sleeping bag and gave him a little bottle just to resettle him. I’ve done it a couple more times since and he’s been fine.

@1940s living up to your name there!! Nothing selfish about it. Ridiculous thing to say.
Healthy, happy parents = healthy happy baby. Rigidity at that age isn’t needed, you have a decent enough routine and a weekly flex in that won’t hurt your baby at all.

It's fine op however couldn't your parents come to you one week?

Seems a bit unfair you're doing the travelling every week.

@1940s

Fine as a one off. Selfish to do it weekly

Oh bugger off. The baby is 7 months. It's not like he's got to get up and go to school in the morning.

OP - outside the U.K., particularly in hotter countries, babies are out and about until late because it's cooler. You won't ruin your baby or cause them any harm

I grew up like this and so have my kids. It’s fine and we all have happy memories from these family get togethers.

It's fine. Your baby will be perfectly OK and possibly not even notice much.

My parents used to do this with us and I remember I would always pretend to be asleep so I could get carried into the house when we got home (20 steps from road to door). We always found it fun and exciting going to sleep at their friends house.

There's nothing wrong with it, if it's not extra hassle to you. On occasion, I wouldn't mind. We've gone to weddings and stayed that late. But on a regular basis, I'd probably not want the hassle of a late night drive, putting baby back to bed, and then a predictably early wake up with little sleep myself.

What we tend to do is have people without children come to us. So your parents could come to you and either drive home or sleep over. Or you could move your dinner to earlier or a weekend lunch.

Either way your baby will be fine, but you might be shattered on a few hours less sleep.