Can't wean my baby off bf

[NigellaSeed]

I'm really struggling. I go back to work in 1 month and I can't get my baby to sleep. DS is 11m. Has always fed to sleep. Currently he has am milk and bedtime milk, then the two daytime naps I'm trying to drop those milk feeds. We dropped his night time feeds at about 9 months. He eats 3 meals and snacks. If I take him in the buggy, he will sleep and when he wakes he doesn't ask for milk so he can actually skip both day feeds happily.

But I can't get him to sleep anymore. I've not managed once. My OH can rock him to sleep, but he works during the week. I've tried everything, leaving him in the cot and sitting in a chair, cuddles, patting, stroking hair, pupd, tried introducing a dummy (doesn't like them)

Currently, he will scream and cry until a) my partner comes in from the office (WFH) and takes over or b) I give up and put him in buggy and rock him

The longest it's gone on for is almost 2 hours of him crying and me trying everything.

It feels awful - I feel so guilty that I've not taught him how to self soothe when he was smaller :(

I understood weaning would be hard - but this feels impossible. How do I do it?

If he settles with your partner, then I think the problem is that it's you and he knows you could give him milk if you want to.

It's likely that he'll settle with his caregiver when you're not there, like how he settles with DH.

Don't stress :)

I still hold/rock/sometimes feed my 16kg giant toddler to sleep BTW I'm sure your DH will be strong enough to manage. And as he gets older, he might naturally change his pattern anyway.

Is there a major issue with him napping in the buggy? DS is nearly two and has been having his naps in the buggy since last March (when it became clear that most of my work was going to get done when he napped, so no sleeping on me). We have a walk round the road, he crashes, I park him in the hall and get on with whatever.

It's maybe not ideal, but there's no chance in hell he'll nap in his cot, angelic though he is about napping at nursery, he's too afraid there might be something happening without him.

DS started nursery at 10 mo. I did something called reverse cycling - so he only has water at nursery / when not with me and has all his breastfeeds at night and early morning. He’s still doing this at 16 mo. At that age they are reducing their feeds any way so 1-2 feeds at night while in a side lying position doesn’t really wake him or you up.

He will respond differently when there is no potential of a breastfeed. I would stop trying to be honest!
I went back to work when dc was 11 months and dh was at home. I expressed milk a few times but we started using cow's milk about two weeks before the 12 month time. Could have used formula instead I suppose.
Dc used to throw himself on me when I got home for a feed, but other than that he did just fine without me there, basically he kept all his milk needs until I got home and drank water or (rarely) cows milk the rest of the time. I fed for another year so my supply just adapted.
Hope it all goes well for you

So I've been putting DS in his pram the last couple of days for both naps, and it's working out pretty well so far!