DH says no to sleepovers!!

[jazzitup15]

If you and your partner don't agree on certain aspects of parenting? Who has the final say? FYI: My DH has never been happy with sleepovers and I usually override him and do them occasionally. Kids are 12 and 14 and have almost had a year of not having friends in the house and DH wants it to stay this way. I have defied him too many times and has basically said no way. Next weekend it is legally allowed and my DD is desperate for her bestie to sleep over. He says lockdown has been lovely has he hasn't had to be in his own house with anybody else's child. His house (although technically ours) and when they have their own houses they can have who they like in it. We disagree on lots of parenting issues but I always have been able to override him but he isn't budging here. I just don't think he is being fair??

@AlmostSummer21

Ask him if, when he's old & he looks back on his life if a bit of mess/noise in the house are more important, or his relationships?

If he's always so anti having people over & letting you & your DC have a life, you need to ask yourself if this is how you want to spend the rest if your life, or if you want a home where your adult children want to visit & maybe one day bring your grandchildren?! Or you can live in a show home & never see them?!

Yes. It seems there's a lot more going on with him than just not liking sleepovers.

I couldn't live like that, and I do wonder what that level of house pride is doing to his children every day. It must be hugely limiting.

He's had a year of no-one in his house, a sleepover isn't being unreasonable.

My parents were very much like your DH and no of my friends were allowed in their house, ever. I hated them for it, some of my friend's parent's commented on it at times in front of me and I felt terrible telling people no-one was allowed in. My mum now complains that she doesn't know any of my friends

It seems pretty strict. I'd just go ahead with it.

Why are pps saying sleepovers are crap for parents?!
Me and my best friend had sleepovers every weekend and we just stayed in each others rooms having fun making silly videos and stuff. What's the big deal?

What a ghastly man to raise children with.

What a joyless fun-sucking bastard he is.

Sleepovers are a normal part of life with teenagers so what was he expecting when he chose to have children?

He sounds like a joyless fun-sucker. At 12 they are so little bother.

Worried grass will be walked on, eh?

There is house proud ... and there is your H.

He needs to talk about his anxiety problem with a professional therapist.

Have you told him your children are likely to move out as soon as they're able and not want to visit often? Is that what he's aiming for?

How often does a sleepover happen (when allowed)?

Once every couple of months or so is fine but personally I’d hate it if my dcs had regular ones. I’m a bit like your dh in that I like my own space and don’t want to wake up with other people in my house. But that’s just me! I wouldn’t ban them completely though and I’m happy for the dc to have friends over.