Child hurting others

[Happycat1212]

I’m wondering what is normal with siblings, my son is aggressive to his siblings, constantly hitting and hurting them. An example is just now he was on the sofa playing a video game and he shouted what is wrong with this controller then completely out of nowhere bashed it on the top of his little brothers head hard. Of course he has been told off and isn’t allowed on it again today but no amount of discipline changes his behaviour. Having a chat with him doesn’t work, he doesn’t care. How can I handle this behaviour?

How old is he?

He is 9.

sorry I should have added that he is waiting for an autism assessment but I don’t think it’s relevant or an excuse.

Sounds relevant OP- arguments that get a bit rough normal, unprovoked violence not normal

My 8 year old has asd and is very like this. Especially if playing a game and he isn't winning. He will snap and hit, or throw something. Fine one moment and then all hell breaks loose the next. And he has zero empathy.

Oh ok I just didn’t want to excuse his behaviour on it, I have an older child who is diagnosed and she wouldn’t hurt anyone, although I do realise all autistic children are different. I’m just at the end of my tether with it really as he doesn’t respond to any discipline, he doesn’t care and If he goes upstairs he either winds his sister up or throws things.

He’s always been extremely angry and had an awful temper

Well it’s relevant in that it will affect his ability to regulate his anger and manage his impulse to hit out. Doesn’t mean it should go unpunished though.

I would suggest very limited screen time and actually the rule is he can’t play whilst others are in the room.

Maybe computer games are unwise when he has just come home and may be worn out. Is he aggressive specifically towards them or as a consequence of getting wound up?

there are some specific anger-management therapies schools can provide. bubble times etc. maybe speak to his teacher about this?

It seems to be all the time really, not specific to video games, he has a very bad temper, even now I can hear him upstairs making growling noises.