Words of encouragement please working mum

[chocolatesweets]

I've just accepted a full time job offer and my twins are 3. They go to nursery and we have family support on the other days. Also my husband works 4 days, so he is able to care for them on the 5th day. I'm also able to work from home and implement flexitime.

My aim is to progress enough to be able to go down to 3/4 days a week comfortably as I've heard they need you more the older they get.

I've been at home with them since they were born and since they turned 3 have been able to work part time. I was nervous about nursery but they absolutely love it.

I've loved spending time with them but I feel it's a now or never decision with work. Looking for words of encouragement more than anything. I feel slightly guilty/like I'm abandoning them.

Remind yourself that they love nursery, and that it is a useful step towards going to school, even if that seems ages away at the moment. The extra money you earn will be great, especially with twins when you have to buy 2 of everything at the same time, rather than saving with hand-me-downs.

If you're working outside the home, then I hope you will find you benefit from the change of scene and adult company. And that the job is stimulating and enjoyable for you.

Good luck!

My mum returned to workimg full time as a teacher when I was about 8 weeks old (the early 80s weren't very accomodating to new mothers) and i grew up seeing it as completely normal that she had her own life and interests. I also really enjoyed spending time with my dad, who as a university lecturer worked from home a lot. I had a great childhood and never felt like i was missing out.

Definitely go for it if that's right for you.

It will be absolutely fine. Dh is home one day a week and realistically that’s more time than many parents have. It’s much easier to work when they’re younger when you don’t have school runs to juggle. My mum went back full time at 3 months. I went back when mine were 2 both times (PT from 12 months).

Thank you

For each of my DC I took six months maternity leave and then went back to work FT. Both children grew up fine! There are pluses and minuses either way, try not to worry too much about it. The best advice I was ever given was to be in work mode at work and mum mode at home, and try not to mix the two. I’ve always been happy to see the DC when I’ve been at work all day and enjoy bedtimes & weekends with them, it’s nice.

I have worked full time since my children were 5 months. They're now 13 & 16. It's never bothered them as long as there was a face at the assembly or the sports day supporting them.

They see it that through working they have a happier mum. That benefits them.

It also worked out well in the fact that when my husband left 2 years ago they have not had to move or miss out on anything due to me progressing at work enough to be able to afford everything as a lone parent.

Don't overthink it. Nursery will be good for confidence building for them

You're not abandoning them. You're still there. You've made provision for their care, including time with their dad, and have found a role with some flexibility. You have made a career decision which will not only help you to provide for them, but that by the sound of it is something that is important to you. For all the juggling and guilt (which we shouldn't have but lots of us do), you will be more fulfilled. Happy mum, happy kids. Go for it, and all the best.

I worked full time since my baby was 6 mths. I'm in awe of you doing it with twins but you sound like you ahve a great support network.
It's good to have extra cash and your setting them a great example of hard work to them plus adult time outside the home.
Good luck x

You're setting them a brilliant example and protecting your financial future.

I worked full time for a while when my DD was young and it made me realise that it’s not quantity but quality of the time with your DC. My relationship with her was as strong as ever and the time we had together I loved

This thread is so helpful 😭 thank you.

I plan on reducing my days to 3/4 when I get qualified /professional standard permanent job.