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Should he pay child maintenance? Am I in the wrong?

3 replies

harleenrain · 10/05/2021 11:16

Hi everyone

I really need some advice basically my son is almost 9 years old and his father and I have never given money to each other I say this because when he was born I suffered with really bad post natal depression (no idea why because I was so excited about the pregnancy) and I was prepared to do it alone. When he was born his dad came back and has been an amazing father to him however because of my anxiety and depression at the time his dad had him every night and weekends so I did the day times

About 2 years ago his dad bought a house about an hour away not taking my feeling into consideration and told my son he could move schools and live with him and his partner so it planted the seed in his head

I currently have him Monday - Friday for school and his dad does Friday to Sunday afternoon sometimes Monday morning if he chooses to. My son does football where his dad lives so now he is constantly saying he wants to moves schools to be with his football friends and I'm at a complete loss

I recently asked his dad about child maintenance and whether he would consider it as I'm really struggling on my own (he earns a great wage and so does his partner) I however have an ok job in a school and I work my hours around my son in 9 years I've never asked his dad for anything and even a couple of months ago I was in desperate need of £20 so I begged him to lend me it until the next day and he refused to. His response to why he won't pay me any money was because my son wants to live with him anyway so why would he pay me money his had a huge argument with me and his partner got involved he bought up my past depression and said he's going to now take my son away from me and he's getting full custody

I'm so broken and hurt I just don't know what to do my son and I have an amazing bond but now he's at that age he wants to be with all his football friends which are where his dad lives

Any advise would be great

Thank you for reading x

OP posts:
ThatIsMyPotato · 10/05/2021 16:23

You can apply through CMS if he won't pay it voluntarily.

Happycat1212 · 10/05/2021 16:41

Did you pay him maintenance when he was having him every night? I’m guessing not as you said you’ve never given each other money. I think if you do it will probably be the final push and your son will go and live with him so it’s up to you

SleepingStandingUp · 10/05/2021 16:44

You are entitled although if he has his 5/14 nights a fortnight it isn't a huge amount. Really this should have been sorted when DS moved in with you.

However if DS is on the brink of wanting to move beware that you could end up being the one to pay maintenance

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