Tell me about your 4 yr old dds please.....

[Elibean]

..mine will be 4 in December, and is in her last year of pre-school.

I'm not sure how much is age, and how much is little sister crawling and taking up space in her world, but some of the 3 yr old dramas I've learnt to deal with are getting more, um, intense...prepare me, please, nice MN Mums of dds....

Please? Is 4, in your experience, calmer, crosser, easier, harder? What are they learning, interested in?

dd is going through another bout of separation anxiety, clinging to me at times, very angry at her little sister at others, and I don't know if its a sibling thing or age or both. Or me.

Got to go and pick up dd1 (4.8) from school but yes four is quite difficult but I believe that there is light at the end of the tunnel.. Also they can find the expectations at pre-school hard so mummy gets to suffer as they let loos at home.

my dd is 4.10 and is so grown up for her age, the things she comes out with are mind boggling.I cant honestly remember being like that as a child and my mother agrees with me(so its not mental blockage) her tantrums are legendary but they have subsided in the last couple of weeks, so fingers crossed they will stay calmer.i do enjoy her being older, i think she is better now than she was when she was a toddler

My four year old throws thew best tantrums you have ever seen, 3yr's of fine tuning, the light at the end of the tunnel is that she starts school next year (only joking). Very stroppy though, learning to be teenagers already.

Aha, thanks (I think!) sounds like dd is practising being 4 a few weeks early then.

Can relate to the mind bogglingly grown up bits, but then again sometimes reverting right back to two year old...perhaps its exactly that mix that drives them to tantrums...

My dd1 and dd2 were easier at 4 than 3, especially my, ahem, most challenging child dd2, who peaked age 2-3 and subsided gradually after that til now at 6 she's pretty delightful.

IME it gets better all the way from 3 onwards (they're 7 and 6 now). More control of emotions, better company, fewer tantrums. Less intense and stressful, definitely.

dd3 is 3.5 and very hard work since she was 3.

My 4yr old DD is stubborn, moody and grumpy!
But lovely in between!
She doesn't like school and cries most days at being left.
I love the way she can tell what her 3yr old sister is saying when i can't work it out.

DS was 4 in July and always been:
a. Boistrous
b. Volatile.

He continues to be both but def in a more controlled way. There are oportunities for discussion / negotiation. His tantrums are becoming less frequent, but he continues to loose his temper when he is frustrated or looses a game /is corrected / told off.

Pagwatch ave me some good advice re anger management (for me and him ) earlier in the week. I have been surprised at how well he's taken to counting to 10 when about to loose temper.

Twas a good tip.

In my experience with my two dds, the ages 3 and 4 have been harder work than when they were babies and toddlers. They were both easy going at that age, and barely had any major tantrums I can recall. They get trickier now because they are old enough to know what they are doing most of the time, yet still too young to manage most of their emotions. dd1 has just turned 5 and is a delight, but very challenging in her own way too. Also, your dd could def be reacting to sibling on the move. They tend to accept new babies well when they are not too much of a threat. Now she sees the baby is becoming a real person too, and will be demanding more of you. My eldest was the same when her little sis started crawling !

Early 4 was quite stressful iirc. Nearly 5 is lovely, although DD isn't at school yet, she starts a bit later in Oz. I'm expecting things to go downhill a bit then, although with a 2.40 finish it's not going to be that taxing.

3 was the worst for us. And 2 was a bit tricky. 1 was great

My DD1 is 4 and she is HARD WORK. I nearly posted on here earlier about how she was driving me up the farkin wall and back down again. I have never come so close to wanting to smack a child as I have today. DD2 is 17 months and the two of them wind each other up all day.

This is all helping

Sibling is definitely part of the current stuff - I can see dd1 is having to redefine who she is in the family, where 'her' space is, what belongs to her, etc.

But she was an easy 2 yr old - and I had much more time to listen to her, meet her needs etc. 3 has been up and down, but was getting easier - then recently, lots more anger and tears. It has coincided with crawling sister though.

Love hearing about all the other 4 yr olds, thank you