Two under 2! Strategies?

[C4SKI]

I have a 15 month old with another due in Sept and I’m wondering how people juggled a toddler and a newborn in practical terms... things like going to the loo, housework, preparing meals etc. We have no family nearby and I’m u able to use a baby sling due to a mild disability so I’m trying to plan ahead for practicalities. With my first he was happy in his bouncer or in the sleepyhead when really little but I’m not happy to leave both unattended at any point for loo etc! Also wondering about b’feeding the newborn with a demanding toddler around, and how to prevent them from waking each other up etc. I’m sure there are also more scenarios I haven’t even thought of so was just looking for tips/advice for those who have tread this path before me with limited help!

I had a one year old and a new born, mine were born almost exactly a year apart (both March) sling was a life saver, I was a single mum with no family help and didn’t personally find it hard you just sort of adapt

Take the big one to the loo with you. Eldest was in a highchair for meal prep and kitchen cleaning while youngest was in a bouncer or chair or something.

After a while I got them both sleeping at lunch time by only allowing baby a short nap in the morning.

I did this twice (DC are 11, 10, 7 & 6).
I always kept the baby in with me for first six months and then they shared a room. They were all good sleepers and don't disturb each other, even now.

We made no plans to go out and meet people in the beginning, I found that added unnecessary pressure, and was stressful.

Invest in a good double pushchair, if you can't use the sling. Then you can get out for a walk and rock them both off to sleep etc. My first two are 13 months apart and IIRC their schedules were synced within the year.

Over the next couple of years, suss out which play areas are fully fenced off. I refused to go anywhere that was not. Also, don't expect much. It's pretty full on managing a 1 & 2 year old, and impossible to watch them and have a catch up with a friend in a cafe (I appreciate this is my pre covid experience).

I always went to the toilet with the door open, slept when they slept and my really good friends would come around to take them for a walk/bring me a meal from time to time. This was amazing, I learnt who were my very patient and kind friends.

But... it's a relatively short period if time (even if it feels like it will never end). My tribe now all absolutely live each other, are really great friends and it is great.

Good luck!

I echo all the above but just wanted to add that I had a travel cot in our living room for the first 6 months so I had somewhere really safe to put the baby if I needed to go out of the room to the toilet/kitchen etc. It was a fairly chunky nuna one that the toddler couldn’t access at all

Eventually when DS2 was napping in more of a routine rather than the newborn pass out stage he used to nap here until he was 6 months and could nap in his bedroom alone

Dont put pressure on yourself. Your allowed chill out days etc

I used to end up holding DS2 breastfeeding (or bottle when we got to it) or asleep in one arm while playing with DS1 with the other

We also used a playmat/swing/sleepyhead as places to put baby while playing or dealing with the toddler

I think you do just adapt. I can’t remember specifics more just that you just sort of have to

I had a 29 month gap. I tandem breastfed which really helped my supply. The baby lived in the sling. For the first six months we went to soft play and toddler stuff for the big one as I found it much easier to get out every day - I got us up and out every morning, we did activities, toddler napped in the buggy and baby stayed in the sling except for nappy changes and car rides. We went gone for late lunch and CBeebies and countdown until daddy got home lol. Toddler helped with housework.
I had a big coat that went around the sling so I didn't have to worry about snowsuits and stuff.
We got the toddler a learning tower so she could climb up and help cook, bake, wash hands etc - so much safer than a chair and you don't have to lift them.
If you park on the road just shut the toddler in the car with the keys in your pocket while you strap the baby in. It buys you time - as they get older and more biddable you can teach them to do useful things like get in their own seat and put their hands in their straps.
I was terrified at first and thought I'd never figure it out but you do. Getting them both to bed was the worst as my baby had colic and CMPA and cried for six hours in the evenings - pro tip - no one can stay awake forever, just get them clean and in pyjamas and in their bed and stay there and they will definitely go to sleep in the end. I didn't know that.

Stick with the toddlers routine as much as you can. A few mornings a week at nursery for my 2 year old saved my sanity, but obviously that’s not an option for everyone. But otherwise I tried to get us up and out by 9ish to the park or soft play or a friends house or whatever. Baby would sleep in the pram and toddler burnt off some energy. Then home for lunch and nap time. Then in the afternoons we usually kept it low key. Just played in the garden, watched too much tv and counted the hours til DH got home.

A playpen/travel cot in the living room was helpful so I could put the baby down and toddler couldn’t get to her. I used her cot when we were upstairs. For toilet trips or hanging up washing or whatever I’d usually take the older one with me and leave the baby in the safe space. Make sure you have a few of them around the house as no doubt you’ll have to run to save toddler from doing something stupid or wipe a bum or whatever drama and it’s nice to just be able to quickly put baby down somewhere totally safe. Not on the bed as that’s when they’ll learn how to roll.

Housework I did the bare minimum. As long as we had clean clothes and dishes and nowhere was a health hazard then it was fine. Cooking I did some batch meals and also DH cooked or we had more takeaways than usual

It’s kind of counter intuitive but I found it a lot easier to sort the older child first. So you walk in and baby is crying for a feed, but it’s easier to ignore the baby for now and spend a few min getting DC1 a snack and switching on the tv for them and then settling down to feed.

Good luck!

I have 16 months between mine and was pretty lax about it all.

We just continued with all the toddler activities - music, playgroup etc - and the baby came along. I became good at breastfeeding while reading/colouring/playing with playdough. At 16 months my toddler just followed me to the loo, and I could park the baby one the floor/bassinet/where ever.

We went every morning - library, shops, playgroup, enclosed park. Toddler was occupied, and always had a morning tea stop to feed baby. Home for lunch or maybe picnic. Get them both napping after lunch. Then faff on around the house/garden/have friends around.

It’s such a short phase, and goes before you know it 🙁