Would you carry on?

[MamaOl93]

My little boy is starting school this year so my sisters tend to think that whenever I help my son put his coat and shoes on, they shout at me or have a go at me and stop me from doing it because he’s going to school this year.
But it’s my only child and I personally just want to do things for him before he really is too big to let me do these things, and it’s really upsetting me.
Would you carry on? What would you do?

No, funnily enough I don’t think you should be intentionally stunting your child’s development because you don’t want him to grow up. My son has just started nursery and they really do hugely encourage children to learn to do their own coats up. Imagine how much it must slow the teachers down having to do up 30 coats and change 30 pairs of shoes every time the children go outside.

Yes, of course carry on.

He is your child and you chose how to parent him. Your sisters' views are irrelevant.

When my ds started senior school and was required to wear formal lace ups for the first time, I used to help him with the bows. That's what parents do. It is also a good thing to show your child how to behave with courtesy, helping anyone who is struggling, regardless of their age.

Use the time to show your ds how it is done. Your ds will take over when he's ready. And it's quicker when you need to get out of the house in the morning.

Your sisters are being weird and unreasonable. Are they really shouting at you over this? That’s very strange and totally unfair behaviour.

I think you should be leading your son towards independence with these things so he’s ready and capable when he starts school, but it’s up to you how you do that and your sisters are bonkers for shouting at you over it.

They shouldn’t be shouting at you but your not doing him any favours by not helping him develop his skills

Can he easily do these things for himself? He will need to be able to do this all easily and fairly quickly at school, so if he can do it easily and well then doing it for him the odd time wont do any harm. But if he is slow at it all or cannot do it, then you really need to get him to do it himself.

Best to let him learn these things while at home rather than in school while feeling flustered if the rest have already mastered these things

Well it's up to you kf course , but unless there's a disability (as my son has) then he does need to become more independent before he starts school.

But personally I'd be more concerned about why why your sisters shouting at you about this? Are they like this about everything? Maybe some assertiveness is needed from you.

You should encourage him to do these things himself as he will be expected to do it at school.
If you're in a rush or he's struggling then you can do it though.

Your sisters sound bossy.

I don’t think it matters too much that you are still doing those things, but I would say that over the summer let him start having a go with your help. The teachers don’t have time to help all the kids so he may end up coming out of school with coat undone, and on PE days he might struggle.

Having said that I still have to do my 12 year old’s tie, and often zips for him too. But his fine motor skills have always been poor.

The question is more can he do it himself than should you help. He needs to be able to do it at school by himself but if he can there's no reason to not do it for him if you want to.

@Sirzy

They shouldn’t be shouting at you but your not doing him any favours by not helping him develop his skills

I completely agree. I’m surprised he is not able to do it already. Does he go to nursery or school nursery already. Please google the list of skills he needs for starting nursery and schools and start working on them.

You need to help your child develop independence.

Hi everyone; thanks for your responses. For clarification, my son knows how to do his coat up and put shoes on etc - but sometimes I still would like to be able to do these things for him without having my sisters tell me I can’t. Thanks! X