SIL offering to take child out

[Snowbellsandgold]

Would you be offended if a family member (not blood) said they wanted to take your 2 year old to classes and to their friends so they could play with other children 😳 btw my son is very social I just don't post my life on social media. He starts nursery in sept and family member continued to say how good this would be for him, it's just made me feel a bit off ..?
Ps family member has no children so has no idea tbh.

When mine were toddlers? Nope. I'd chuck the kid at them and be back in bed before you could say holy lie in, batman.

She's probably just trying to be helpful? Covid has meant babies have been able to do a lot less socialising than they usually would.

I’d be very happy to have a couple hours to myself tbh.
Might just be thinking of him getting some little friends. I wouldn’t be offended

If you don’t want her to take your two year old she can have mine, I’m going to have a nap then some afternoon wine

I’m assuming the op is more concerned about being judged for not socialising her toddler when that isn’t the case.
Op do you actually mind them taking him out?

It depends

Oh poor Johnny. Mommy doesn't take you anywhere does she. You must be so bored here all day with just Mommy. Aunty Jess will take you to baby club so you can make friends won't she, yes Aunty Jess knows you need to leave the house

VS

There's a group running by me, I could take Johnny if you think he'd enjoy it and you can have a break.

First things first, do you trust this person? Are they mature and sensible? Do they have any experience dealing with very young children? Are you comfortable with her taking your child to the homes of people you don't know? If those questions can't be answered satisfactorily, then perhaps she shouldn't take your child on her own. Your child, your choice. If you aren't comfortable with it, for any reason, the answer is no.

And will you be clear on her posting on social media media (or not) if you decide to allow it?

I know, I think I'm being sensitive I'm pregnant at the
Moment and feel like a bit of a boring mum x

So is she being a patronising arse or a good friend?

I would invite her to come look after your toddler for a couple of hours in your house/garden so she knows what she's getting into.

I had a very good friend (no children) offer to take my just turned two year old to the park. She found it quite stressful as (despite my warnings) she hadn't realised little kids that age could run quite so fast or climb so high on the climbing frame. She did offer to take him out again but chose soft play the next time .

She probably just thinks you might need a break. Just because she's childless doesn't mean she's clueless. For years before I had children I was written off because "I wasn't a mum". That's just unkind.

She doesn’t have kids and would probably enjoy playing mum for the day. I know I would have probably have liked to do that before I had kids

God I wish my SIL would even occasionally visit my DD never mind take her out to groups! My DD is about to turn 3 and SIL has seen her probably about 5 times in her entire life thus far, sadly.

@Vettiyalruken
Pmsl 😂 your comment had me howling

Depends - do you trust them? If it's a female I'd be less concerned than a male (yes, I know, NAMALT but I have awful personal experience).

If you do trust her, then go for the break if you'd enjoy it. If not, politely decline.

I’m sure it comes from a place of love. I didn’t let my daughter go because she was too young and couldn’t talk, couldn’t say how her time was or if she wanted to come home etc. There is no right or wrong, it’s just preference.

The person I said no to was offended, but she didn’t have kids herself so didn’t understand that you do tend to go over the top into protection mode with your first child 😂

@VettiyaIruken

When mine were toddlers? Nope. I'd chuck the kid at them and be back in bed before you could say holy lie in, batman.

Said it better than I could but yup, definitely this! 😂

Also, let BIL have daughter over night with his wife, child was 6, and a complete angel, she was just born a good child. They loved it and wrongly thought that’s what parenting was like- like a fun weekend with a well behaved child ahahahahahahahhaha. That was a massive mistake, their child is nothing like mine, a cute little terror and also playing parent for a weekend Is different than being a full time parent.

It’s so mean but I still laugh about it!

This is the kind of shit my SIL says on purpose to get sly digs at me while being able to deny that's what she's doing.
. Shes a complete bitch and I've given up caring but if your SIL is like that then I can understand why this might upset you.

I use to take my nieces out quite a lot when they was younger, to play centres, days out, meet my friends with children. These where both my SIL and sisters children, and they where always grateful. It gave them a break, and it also allowed me to spend time with them. I didn’t have DC at the time.
But I also struggled to have DC, and it was always hard meeting friends with DC / feeling included. So helping my sis / SIL, spending time with my nieces, also helped me.

I think it depends how it was said. If they offered to take them out to give a pregnant mum a rest or to have some time with their nephew I'd say 'great!'. If there was an impliction that they needed taking out because you never bother to yourself then yes I'd be a bit offended.

How much experience of 2yo does your SIL have? It might be a cunning plan on her part that your 2yo and her friend's 2yo can play together leaving her to chat with her friend as she doesn't realise how much supervision and intervention there will be with 2yo playing together. Give it a couple of years, and it will work well. One neighbour often used to invite my DD over when her grandchildren came over as there were three of them with two of them being close in age and then a gap of a few years before the youngest... who was just a few days older than my DD. It was sometimes easier to get the youngest one occupied or not interfering with the older ones if my DD was there to play with her. Similarly, a good friend of mine has a 4yo and when she comes over next week I will be borrowing a (different) neighbour's 4yo as they can then play together leaving my friend & I more time to chat.