Can't stand toddler DC jumping on me

[georgarina]

I'm sitting with a cup of tea...get jumped on, arm gets jogged.

In bed reading magazine - I'm being kicked and crawled on.

Walking through the house - DC hanging off my clothes.

I'm a single parent exhausted on the weekend and it's driving me mental. Not really a question but I just want 5 minutes without being jumped on.

I was the same when mine were small. I wouldn't stand for it...mine got a sharp "NO!" when they jumped on me or kicked or pulled me.

It's important to teach them that they can't use other people as playthings and you're their first experience of socialisation. How old is he or she?

Agree with @FortunesFave

Same same same.

DS is 4 and a half, very sturdy, strong and very much too big for it now- he’s one of the biggest boys at his nursery- and although I know it’s not on purpose sometimes he really really hurts me. It’s all in play rather than aggression but getting the rules about “gentle hands with mum” is taking TIME.

Basically I let him know when I’m hurt - a strong “ow!” And on occasion I have cried (eg kicked in the face when he dove on me from the back of the sofa and burst my lip)- and I didn’t hide it either. Kids need to know that mums aren’t actually invincible, unfeeling, automatons. We’re people too!
(In fact that’s one of my lines “I’m a person not a climbing frame. Stop it”).

If he’s jogging hot drinks- I tell him firmly no.

If i just don’t want to be grabbed/dove on/ thudded into- again - i give him a firm “no- mummy doesn’t want to be jumped on.”

And if that doesn’t work then I stand up and walk out of the room. If he follows me I ask him to go back to his toys because I need a minute to myself.

Slooooowly getting there. Slowly.

I’m a single mum too- it is relentless I know.

The only thing I can say is they do grow out of it, so hang in there. It doesn't last forever!

You’ve reminded me of that phase now reading this; my DD just turned 4 and has grown out of it but it used to drive me crazy. Good news is though that they grow out of it.
I used to be very strict about jumping on me with hot drinks as I was so worried about burning her; that did work but not the rest of the time

Firm ‘NO’ and stand up and remove yourself from him.
Repeat every time.
With the hot drinks I’d try and catch him before he does it.

I get this too but you've got to say no.

Mine likes to climb over me or if lying on the sofa will sometimes absentmindedy tap his feet on me. I tell him that he can't sit next to me if he's going to fidget and jostle.

My one year old however doesn't understand this logic yet... she always wants picked up but will then strain away or try to climb up me. I feel very touched out a lot of the time.

What?! Don't stand for it, I can't believe there's parents who let the 3/4 year olds do this. They're not toddlers and they know better at that age.

Just say no firmly & make it clear you don't want to be touched in that way. Mine wouldn't have jumped on me as toddlers & definitely didn't kick or push (me or anyone else). If you allow it then they may do same to other children.

Thanks all. He's 3. I do firmly say no or say "if you kick/climb on me you're leaving the bed"...but it's just constant - I'm constantly telling him no or stop and then I feel bad. He doesn't like playing by himself unless we go to the park (which we do every day on weekends) and he's always asking me to come sit and play or come with him to do whatever, but I just need a bit of time!!

And I don't mean kick as in kicking hard, it's more kicking his legs in the air or pushing his legs into me. He's really good at nursery and plays really well with other kids but they all say he's got tons of energy

And I don't mean kick as in kicking hard, it's more kicking his legs in the air or pushing his legs into me.

This is still kicking and being rough with you.

Does he get lots of time outdoors to run off energy? Maybe he's bored & trying to get your attention. I had DS that had to be constantly entertained at that age & couldn't play alone at all. Just had to keep him really busy & I know that's exhausting, but he never pushed into me or yanked my arm or anything.

Could you try pre-empting it by wearing him out so he's not trying to manhandle you?

Just to offer an alt perspective to @converseandjeans- I have a child who can’t play alone.

I persevere with it.It does nobody any good to have a child who can’t play independently.

To offer an example .

Today DS 4 was taken out at 9am and had complete 1-1 attention and outdoor activity until 2pm. (Hiking, small bouldering, play area, stream paddling, and mini bug hunt).

At 2pm we’ve come home and I’ve asked him to go play alone in the living room for an hour while I do the laundry, wash up and prep dinner in the next room.

He has 4 boxes of train set, jigsaw, small world toys and a book case. I’m talking to him. I’m calling him in to help with jobs he likes (eg mixing Yorkshire pudding batter).

He is VERY cross that I’ve asked him to entertain himself for probably a total of 40 mins out of 60.

But he’s had 5 solid hours of 1-1 attention and physical, emotional and mental stimulation.

Now I need an hour to make our lives work- clean clothes, food etc.

Sadly, as I’m a LP, he has to lump it if he can’t like it. And he does NOT like it.

Some kids are just high needs, and no amount of “wearing out”, attention or otherwise will cut the mustard for them.

Children who do this will simply carry in unless you are very firm about it. Try to pre empt it by reminding him as you sit down with your drink “ stay away from mummy please this will burn you”.

If he comes to sit by you or lie on the bed “remember no kicking or pushing please, or you will have to get down”.

And follow through every time!

ohshitshit

Yes I hear you. We had the same but luckily I have DH around. It did get much easier for us I would say from 4 years - so old enough to go round a friends house and be left there. Then I would reciprocate and take his mates out with him. He's sociable so as he's got older it has got easier. I remember desperately trying to get him to watch TV even for half an hour to get some peace. The only thing he's watch was Peppa Pig. Again it's easier now as he can play x-box, watch youtube, chat with mates online.

So OP I think it will get easier once he can start playing round at friends, joining things like rugby/footie to keep him busy. Hang on in there.

Ds (nearly 3) is similar, and he emphatically told me "mummy IS a climbing frame" when I suggested otherwise.

I'm now trying to use it as a bit of a teaching moment about consent alongside boundaries. So slightly differently but ds has an infuriating habit of blowing raspberries on my tummy. I tell him no, hold him away and explain that when people say no about their body, we listen (see also: rough and tumble with friends, climbing on me etc). Then when we're playing eg. with me tickling , if he says stop I do and explain that I've done so because he said stop and it's his body- even if he shouts again each time, I stop when he says stop and repeat. I'm hoping this will enforce some positive boundaries.

Also if there's no stopping him I just get up and move away and tell him why.

@meow1989

Thank god someone else’s child is obsessed with stomachs!
Drives me WILD.

That’s the thing I get really cross about actually, and like you, I do use that as a really good opportunity to talk about bodily autonomy and consent in an age appropriate way.

@ohshitshit it's particularly mine rather than his dad's too, any opportunity the little terror!

I lay down in the bath and was shocked at the bruises at the top of my legs. It was from my 2 year old standing on me!

He also wears glasses and loves to smush his face into mine which always hurts.

Awww the blowing raspberries sounds pretty cute tho.